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“Breaking Up with a Social Network” or “When Computers Get Needy”

Philip Kendall Sep 8, 2012
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Breaking up is hard to do at the best of times, but when one half of the couple is still head-over-heels in love, it’s even harder. As much as we’d all like to think of ourselves as decent human beings who step up and address situations like these with the haste and sincerity they deserve, more-often-than-not we take the coward’s way out: we drop as many subtle hints as we can and draw the break-up out like an awkward teen melodrama. We call less often; we glaze over when the conversation turns to ‘us’; we switch from Corn Flakes to Alpha-Bits cereal and routinely leave phrases like ‘it’s over’ and ‘go away’ on the counter-top….

Thank goodness leaving social network services is so much less awkward. Click, click; done. Computers don’t have feelings, right?

Well, apparently they do.

The Japanese version of location-based social networking service foursquare, it turns out, is one love interest that’s particularly hard to break up with, and has caught the attention of bloggers as a result.

Far from being a flashing red icon of sadness and rejection, foursquare’s break-up button is kept relatively out of harm’s way, only accessible once users navigate through their account settings menu and locate a small hyperlink embedded at the very bottom of a block of text. Of course, this isn’t something that foursquare alone is guilty of, since keeping the option to close an account visible at all times would be the website equivalent of constantly asking “Am I boring? Oh God, I’m boring, aren’t I? Do you want to leave?”

It’s once users locate that link and get the break-up ball rolling, however, that things start getting a little bit odd.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” the site asks, bottom lip trembling. “You really want to erase every check-in you’ve ever made? All the tips you gave? All the badges? That cute, sexy profile photo of yours? Erase it all!? Forever!?”

You have to hand it to foursquare– it fights for your love.

“OK… I get it,” the site continues, “But we can still be friends, right? If we meet at parties it’s not going to be weird? Well, I suppose this is goodbye…”

The site’s quirky personality certainly makes users think twice, and we’re sure that there must be a few people out there who had a change of heart after reading such an imploring message. But this is Messages-in-Cereal Awful-Breakup Man; there’s no turning back now!

The site asks the user to fill in a quick questionnaire regarding their reason for leaving, before making one last attempt to rescue the relationship.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Tell me this is all just a bad dream…” it sobs.

I’m sorry, foursquare. Thank you for the memories. Goodbye.

“PS: I really am sorry I lost you.”

OK, shush now…

Source: Netorabo

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