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Yet More Unnecessary Ways to Estimate the Size of a Man’s Junk: Childhood Rumours Both Quashed and Verified by Science

Philip Kendall Sep 25, 2012
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It’s been a funny sort of week here at RocketNews24. While it was never agreed upon at any of our meetings, the issue of our private parts and their relative size has cropped up more than a couple of times within the space of a few days. And this post is no exception.

“Penises on the brain…” as The Office’s Dwight Schrute, a personal hero of mine, once put it…

We’ve talked about breasts and how they, and attitudes towards them, have changed over the years, and we’ve seen innovative Chinese methods of calculating the length of a man’s old chap without need of a ruler or any special equipment.

But Japanese website News Post Seven, it seems, has struck upon some rather interesting information that, potentially, blows all other theories out of the water when it comes to the issue of John Thomas’ dimensions.

Enlisting the help of ethological essayist Dr. Kumiko Takeuchi, the site sought to get some straight answers to the questions that many of us have been asking since we were old enough to care, but still gullible enough to believe whatever we heard.

“Greek scientists,” Dr. Takeuchi affirms, “studied the relationship between the size of a man’s penis and their height, weight and body type.”

And here’s me thinking they were more concerned with right-angled triangles…

“Taller men were often found to have longer penises, while contrastingly there is some evidence to suggest that heavier, fatter men have shorter penises, comparatively speaking.”

Having perhaps read one of our very own articles, or fallen victim to schoolyard rumour and hand-size contests, the website then braved to ask the immortal question: is there any relationship between the length of a man’s fingers and his, you know, wink, wink, nudge, nudge?

“The Greeks’ studies certainly suggest that, even more than a man’s height, the length of his fingers was a strong indicator of the length of his member,” replied the good doctor, possibly resulting in all the men in the room thrusting their hands into their pockets and looking sheepish. “Fingers and genital organs are determined by the same “Hox” genes, which regulate our bodies’ size, shape and dimensions, so there is, indeed, a strong correlation.”

As a man with a fairly sizable nose, the response to News Post Seven’s last question, “Is there any relation between the size of a man’s nose and his penis?” was of particular interest to this writer.

“There hasn’t been that much scientific research into that;” replied Dr. Takeuchi, “but over the years, with many people making that observation, the probability of it being true is fairly high.”

High-five, big-nosed brothers!

Source: News Post Seven