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Is 800 Million Yen Really Enough to Take a Bath In?

Master Blaster Mar 30, 2013
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Not too long ago, Mr. Sato was thumbing through a magazine when he came across an ad for something. On the page he could see a man sitting in a bath tub filled with cash. “Boy, he sure looks happy” Mr. Sato thought as he put down the magazine.

That image lingered in the back of his mind until the announcement of Loto 7’s biggest jackpot ever, 800 million yen (US$8.5M). Then it dawned on him. He could win the grand prize and realize his new dream of bathing in money.

“Winning the jackpot once should be no problem,” he thought to himself “but it’d be a little harder to win twice if I need that much to fill a tub.”

He had to be sure that 800 million yen was enough before he’d be foolish enough to play the lottery.

■ The Experiment

The tickets don’t go on sale until 1 April and the draw isn’t until the following Friday so Mr. Sato had some time to spare. He crafted 800 million yen worth of fake 10,000 yen notes which are currently the largest denomination available in Japan.

He then stacked them together in his bathroom. The amount was a lot smaller than he expected. In fact, it didn’t look like it was enough even to fill the tiny bath tub of his “quaint” apartment.

■ Phase 1: 400 Million Yen

He decided to start with half of the dummy cash totaling 400 million fake yen (fake $4.2M). After tossing in the yellow papers, he sighed and put his hands on his hips.

It wasn’t even enough to fill half of the tub. When he was conceiving this 40,000 bills seemed like a lot of Mr. Sato and yet looking at this pathetic scattering of so-called riches he was stung with disappointment.

■ Phase 2: 800 Million Yen

Going ahead with the experiment, Mr. Sato threw in the remaining half of the simulated money. To his surprise the tub filled up perfectly. It was about the same water level he’d have used on a normal day.

So it was settled, he only need to win the lottery once to achieve his dream of a cold hard cash bath. He was determined to get a ticket.

“But first,” he thought, “why don’t I see what it’s like using the paper since I have it here.”

He stripped down and climbed into the cash bath carefully to avoid paper cuts to sensitive areas. The feeling was fantastic. Satisfied with the results of his experiment and the prospects of taking a real bath of money Mr. Sato felt like he just polished of a beef bowl and a beer from the convenience store.

He began to drift away dreaming of what he would do with the money. Reality, too, began to drift away from Mr. Sato.

He was last spotted running shirtless through Kabukicho cluching fistfuls of blank yellow paper.

Loto 7: 800 Million Jackpot (Japanese)
Photos: RocketNews24

▼ Mr. Sato hugging his imaginary 800 mil

▼ He’s gone mad with wealth.

▼ Our little man’s so excited to take his first bath, isn’t he?

▼ The first 400 million.

▼ It tingles!

▼ The full 800 mil!

▼ “I’m filthy rich yet clean! Things are gonna be different from now on!”

▼ “I’m gonna get that two-bedroom apartment across the hall…”

▼ “The lady at the convenience store’ll have to pay attention to me now!”