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Ninja Life Skills: How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you

cheating

Today’s Ninja Life Skill: how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you. It’s easy as pee! I mean.. pie!

Here at RocketNews24 we’re always happy to help by introducing those bits of “common knowledge” that everyone seems to know, but which may have slipped by you. Today we present a guide on how to find out if your suspicions about a cheating girlfriend are correct, straight from our ingenious RocketNews24 Japan staff.

・Check the toilet

Lift up the toilet seat and take a good look at the rim. Don’t get too close now! If you can see splash marks, it means that a guy other than you has been draining the lizard in your girlfriend’s house. Girls don’t generally pee standing up, so they can’t splash on the rim, meaning it was most definitely a guy who did it.

・Wipe it down

But hold up a minute – that could just be the remainders of your own bathroom trips, you mucky pup. To make certain that it’s not you leaving a false trail of evidence, make sure to wipe down the toilet rim after every use. If it turns out to be only your girlfriend and you using the toilet not only will you be able to breathe a sigh of relief and the opportunity to do some soul searching, but your girlfriend will likely be thrilled at your new-found sense of cleanliness.

・Don’t freak out

Of course it’s possible that your girlfriend’s father, brother, relative or friend did it! So don’t lose your cool right away if you find a little splash-back on the rim after you’ve set the stage. You can only reach the conclusion that some sleazy seducer has been in there after removing all other possibilities, so don’t go storming in shouting about pee, fidelity and rims of evidence unless you’re absolutely sure.

・We girls aren’t idiots!

What’s that? Girls these days aren’t so naive? I get it, you’re a smart lady. You probably knew all this already. Hang on, where are you off to? Cleaning the toilet? Ah, of course, they say cleanliness is next to godliness!

Photo: RocketNews24
[ Read in Japanese ]

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