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Battery-saving app creeps us out, probably doesn’t save your battery life

Preston Phro Jul 16, 2013
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The smartphone is perhaps one of the neatest inventions we have. They allow unprecedented access and communicative abilities—until the #$%& battery dies! What good is a five-inch screen with a quadcore processor and more gigs of ram than my last laptop if the battery is dead by noon? This has led to numerous power-saving methods, external batteries, and, of course, apps claiming to extend battery life. Today, we discovered one app that does a little more than just extend your battery life, it also creeps you out and makes you feel like a terrible pervert! Yah!

Called Skirt-Rolling-Up, Battery-Extending “Magic Girl Sakura”, the app has three main functions: clearing memory, enabling/disabling power-saving features, and uninstalling memory hogging apps. The shudders of horror are a…bonus?

Upon installing and opening the app, you’re greeted with the screen above and an anime voice crying out “Hello, master! How’s your smartphone battery today?” Kind of like a maid cafe for your phone, but instead of serving sweets, you (allegedly) get improved battery life. From there, you can choose one of the three options. The first, clearing memory, is decidedly the creepiest thing we’ve ever had on a phone. So, let’s start there! It’s not a simple matter of tapping an on-screen button—that would be too pedestrian. Instead, the app sighs at you, reluctantly gives permission, and then allows you to pull the girl’s skirt up, revealing her underpants.

You then pull her skirt back down and the app clears out a few hundred megabits of memory. The shudders running up your spin, however, do not dissipate for at least five minutes.

▼What the…

▼WHY???

The other two options are less horrifying, fortunately. The power-saving settings allow you to turn on or off Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, syncing, automatic screen orientation adjustment, and GPS, in addition to allowing fine-tuned control of screen brightness. This screen just has a cute drawing of Sakura holding a sign that either says “Saving Power” or “Enable Power Saving,” depending on the setting selected, as you can see below.

The final function is actually pretty clever and thankfully doesn’t make you feel like you’re about to walk onto the set of To Catch a Predator. On this screen, Sakura shows you a list of other apps that may be hogging battery power and allows you to easily uninstall them. Uninstallation kicks you out to the Android Play Store, so you’ll have to reopen the app on your own if you want to continue using it.

In addition to these functions, the app has a variety of phrases that it plays when you open the app or switch to the memory clearing screen. It also seems to have a variety of panties to show you, but we honestly didn’t wait to find out how many. Once was far more than enough. In fact, we uninstalled it right after trying it out, because, really, we never want to be caught with this on our phone. So, we can’t tell you if it actually helps save your battery life, but we’re guessing probably not.

▼“You can’t extend battery life with panties, can you?” No, Sakura, you cannot.

If you really feel like you need to see this for yourself, you can install the app for free from the Android Play Store. It seems to be supported by ads that are, as you might expect, mostly “adult oriented.”

Source: Gigazine, Android Play Store

▼You can also check out this video from Gigazine showing off the memory clearing function. You don’t want to watch this at work, in public, or, actually, anywhere at all.