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Anpanman attacks unsuspecting crowd with Gundam lasers during live show

The costumed superhero world was shocked recently when once beloved hero with a head of bread, Anpanman, appeared to have suffered a mental breakdown and began firing lasers at the unsuspecting crowd. The carnage was captured on video and is currently being studied by psychiatric experts and federal investigators.

The incident occurred on the afternoon of 13 September during one of Anpanman’s many, many live stage shows. Anpanman shows are usually full of simple choreography that’s easy for children to mimic such as marching in place. However, this time Anpanman seemed to be pushing himself a little harder than usual.

During the show, sometime around when Anpanman was doing the ‘reverse hitch-hiker’ a young child could be heard saying, “Mommy Anpanman’s having a fit.”

Backstage, an eyewitness reported a visibly shaken Apanman say, “They want to see a ‘fit’ do they?” He then went on stage for his second show…

Not knowing that Anpanman was able to fire Gundam lasers out of his jazz-hands, the crowd was caught completely off guard. One survivor described the carnage as “indescribable” and said that “the room was full of screams as Anpanman just laughed at us showing off his ability to control natural elements like lightning and 8-bit red pixels.”

Some speculate that this was a psychotic breakdown associated with PTSD from when Anpanman’s long-time ally, Shokupanman, appeared to have suffered a mild stroke while performing at a shopping mall.

While law enforcement are still on the lookout for Anpanman, his creator Uncle Jam issued a statement asking him to turn himself in. Meanwhile, Anpanman’s arch nemesis, Baikinman, said to local media, “I always wanted the destruction of Anpanman, but not like this, man… Not like this… [sniffles] I can’t do this right now. [shoves recorder from the reporter’s hand]”

Source: NicoNico Douga 1, 2

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