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Constipated cats, sticky blue poop and more: Japan’s 9 weirdest vending machine toys

Jessica Nov 11, 2013
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Gachagacha or gachapon are vending machines that spit out little toys or other small items in a plastic egg. For a few bucks, you get not only a new anime figure or phone strap but also the thrill of submitting to the luck of the gachapon. Where I come from, you might find a similar machine dispensing stickers or candy in the front of a big box store, but there wasn’t much choice and the appeal wears off sometime before junior high. Here in Japan though, gachapon have an endless and ever-changing variety of contents, along with enthusiastic collectors of all ages. Entire stores exist simply to house hundreds of gachapon, and with all that variety, there’s sure to be some serious weirdness in there. This is Japan, after all.

We’ve scoured the Net to find nine of the most bizarre for your viewing pleasure.

9. Constipated cats

Image: Atolog Housou

These little toys, which can hang from your cellphone or key chain, can be squeezed like stress balls, causing poop to shoot out from under the tail. Somebody better check kitty’s diet, though, because he seems to be having some very problematic bowel movements. Each one is named after the color of his poop, with the winner for bizarreness going to Lamé Poo, who seems to have eaten a whole jar of glitter at some point.

8. Seafood transformers

Image: Atolog Housou

For the seafood lovers our there, these coin purses transform from sea creature to lunch in the blink of an eye. For most of them, like the scallop and sea urchin, the top just opens to reveal the edible bits inside with a slight patina from the grill, but you actually get to unzip the fish like you were gutting it. Without the blood and smell, of course.

7. Eyeglass-eating monster

Images: Tsumekomi Cube

This weird little guys is part of a series of toys mimicking the clay art of Jin Katagiri that fused animals or monsters with everyday objects. Called Meganegon, something like Glasseszilla in English, he supposedly has to eat eyeglasses or he will die. Luckily, the gacha comes complete with its own set of tiny glasses so you don’t have to sacrifice any of yours.

6. Bug heads

Image: RocketNews24

So, not only are these bizarre toys just big bug heads in creepy detail, they cost 1,000 yen each (about US$10), way more than your average gacha! I suppose if you are really into entomology or a science teacher or something it might be worthwhile, but really how many people actually want to see a bug’s face this up close and personal? Bonus weirdness: they are called Insect Face Figure WARSHIPS. What the-?

5. Adhesive blue poop

Image: Hiro-kun to Asobou

There is definitely a trend of scatological humor in the gachpon world. Well, to be honest, it fairly permeates all of Japan. And here is a prime example: Mr. Sticky Poo, a little pile of blue poop that adheres to smooth surfaces so you can leave it for your friends or family to find. He even comes in his own toilet instead of the usual plastic egg!

4. Tiny heads with wigs

Images: Tsumekomi Cube

I know kids like to brush and style a doll’s hair, but just popping plastic wigs on and off a tiny head? There doesn’t seem to be much enjoyment in that, even if one of them is an awesome mullet.

3. A vomiting superhero

Image: Michael John Grist

Travel to Japan and you will at some point see the real-life version of Hackman (from “haku” meaning to vomit) on a train platform late at night. So I guess that makes this little toy of a white figure sporting various hairstyles and different colors of vomit a nice souvenir?

2. Worldwide Panty Flash

Image: Anetetsu no Tsudouba

And of course there is a whole class of sleazy and/or downright pornographic gachapon. This one immortalizes accidental panty flashes from around the world. The poor ladies are named by the color of their underwear, like Pure White Emily and Purple Maki. Strangely, most of them seem to have Japanese names, despite the series’ “worldwide” claim. Each also has a euphemism for the situation that caused the wardrobe malfunction, including “gift of the spring wind” and “party lost and found” for the girl passed out drunk on the bottom right. Ick.

1. Women’s phone numbers?

Image: Twitter

Twitter user @ren10031 spotted this strange and possibly illegal gachapon. The sign reads, “Get cellphone numbers! This machine contains women’s cellphone numbers. One for 200 yen.” Sadly, @ren10031 didn’t try his luck, so we don’t know if the numbers are real or who they connect to.

Feel like hunting for some weird treasure yourself? Keep your eyes peeled for a section at most electronics stores or try one of these gacha hotspots around Tokyo:

Shinjuku- Gashapon Capsulestation, Nishishinjuku 1-16-4 B1
Akihabara- Gachapon Kaikan, Soto-Kanda 3-15-5, MN building 1F

Source: RocketNews24
Image: Shinjuku Happy Town