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Why do otaku walk so fast? “They are bound for the future!”

otaku stereotype1

The Japanese stereotype for otaku is far from pretty. Hardcore fans of anime and video games are largely regarded as social outcasts and are characterized as unkempt men in button-up plaid shirts, high-waisted pants and running shoes, carrying around backpacks and shuffling quickly through the streets of Akihabara on the hunt for the latest game, hardware or erotic 2-D merchandise.

The Japanese text board 2channel appears very well acquainted with this skittish sub-section of society, so when someone asked why it is that otaku walk so fast, the anonymous responders had a lot to say, and it certainly opened our eyes!

Responses to the question that we’ve so often wondered ourselves include:

Because they’re busy!

Because they want to watch their recorded anime ASAP.

They spend their lives always chasing after something. Probably.

They don’t have time to waste, unlike you lot. They must get home and play games.

Moving has the greatest potential for lost time.

Their friends all walked really fast. It’s like they’re in a walking race.

This isn’t a walk in the park! If they can reach their destination even one second faster, they will.

On departure: “I want to buy this erotic video game immediately.”
On return: “I want to play this immediately.”

They move without wasting time.

Otaku are the masters of their world. They do not even acknowledge the speed at which they walk, and so they pass by like a sudden strong gust of wind.

They value efficiency.

Once you have learned the secrets of walking quickly, you can never return to who you once were.

Unfortunately, but perhaps not surprisingly, many of the responses were very degrading in nature.

Because they do not wish to expose their embarrassing appearance to the public.

As loners, they never experienced things like walking while chatting with friends, thus they never developed a slow-walking habit.

Moving quickly is advantageous, so they don’t have to listen to the laughter that follows them.

If they stopped, they’d get beaten up.

They walk with the self-importance of a politician silently pushing their way through a sea of reporters.

But, for every comment that viciously mocked the modern otaku, another arose which defended the honor of an otaku lifestyle.

They are driven by a sense of purpose that encourages them to live in high gear.

When you’re playing games, do you not use the B-dash?

You guys are just slow. I guess it can’t be helped, because of your short legs.

If you can walk quickly, then isn’t it better that you do?

Because otaku are the type of people who give it their all.

They are bound for the future!

Given the popular uses of 2channel, there’s a very real chance that many of these responses, even the scathing ones, came from the fingertips of otaku themselves. For all we know, this thread could have been one of self-examination, rather than speculation. Getting perspective on an anonymous opinion is important but fundamentally futile, so I guess we’ll have to take these observations with a grain of salt.

Source: Nikiita Sokuhou (Japanese)
Image: Blog Delarossa

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