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Nine reasons some Japanese women only date foreign guys

Preston Phro Jan 26, 2014
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Now, you’re probably familiar with the stereotype of Western guys moving to Japan to meet women. It’s a nasty stereotype…with a few grains of truth to it, we suppose. But at least we can now rest easy knowing it’s a two-way street, because there are tons of Japanese girls who only date Western men.

If you happen to have a lot of Japanese friends, you may have met one or two women with a penchant for non-Japanese gentlemen. While it’s not usually as bad as your one creepy guy friend–you know the one we’re talking about–have you ever wondered what’s going on with that?

Here’s a quick look at life on the other side of the looking glass, with nine reasons some Japanese women only date foreign guys.

1. Directness

It seems like one of the first things everyone learns in a Japanese class at school is that Japanese people hate being direct. Well, this takes that bit of education and flips it on its ear!

▼How do I love thee? Let me count the…oh, just hurry up and kiss me!

It seems that some Japanese women love it when guys are direct and shower them with declarations of love. Though phrases like “ai shiteru” (“I love you”) are more likely to be heard on cheesy TV dramas then between real-life Japanese couples, apparently some folks don’t mind being told “I love you” once in a while. That…seems entirely reasonable!

2. “Ladies first”

“Chivalry is dead!” You’ve probably heard this at least once or twice in your life. And while the people saying it may not be entirely wrong, you wouldn’t know it from talking to certain Japanese women. Apparently, foreign guys have some appeal in Japan due to their willingness to put their partner first by opening doors, carrying heavy stuff, and paying for dinner. We’re not sure it’s fair to suggest that some Japanese men aren’t equally considerate, but it is surprising how easy it is to be called a “gentleman” here in Japan simply by not knocking people down to get on the train first.

▼”Let me get the doo–uhhh, yeah, you might have to deal with that yourself.”

We can’t wondering if some of these women have ever gotten past the first few months of dating a foreign guy, though. Whatever your ethnicity, that level of chivalry tends to go right out the door after a few years of marriage…

3. Looking sexy and feeling good

One of the weird things about human nature is loving what you can’t have. People with straight hair wish it were curly, and curly-haired folks spend hundreds of dollars trying to get their hair flat. In the same way, traditional Japanese beauty standards–like narrow, almond-shaped eyes and long dark hair–aren’t the most popular anymore. At least not in Japan. On the other hand, a lot of foreign men seem to love it–and who doesn’t appreciate a bit of extra attention??

▼”I feel pretty, oh, so, pretty!”

As one Japanese woman said, “To be honest, I am more popular when I go traveling abroad than when I’m in Japan.” And knowing others find you sexy sure does feel good, doesn’t it?

4. The cuddling!

While public displays of affection aren’t exactly non-existent in Japan, they’re also not very common either. And we imagine that most people are perfectly happy with that–but not everyone. Some Japanese women love dating foreign guys precisely because they’re more willing to show their affection physically. While no one wants to watch a couple making out in public–really, we don’t want to see it, but thanks for the show anyway–a bit of hand-holding can be really nice.

▼”What? I thought you wanted some cuddling!”

Just remember: Make sure your partner is happy with how physical you’re getting! Not everyone is going to be comfortable with public cuddling–unless you’re dating a puppy. Puppies always love cuddling.

5. Showing off

This one is probably a bit harder to admit, but some Japanese women just loving being able to show off their foreign partners. There’s a certain cultural cache of having foreign friends–that doesn’t just apply in Japan–so having a foreign lover must be even cooler, right?

Though some guys won’t appreciate being shown off like an accessory, not everyone is going to complain either. Especially if a woman who looks like Mitsu Dan is asking!

6. Macho guys

Japanese men–especially younger men–tend to be kind of skinny. Though there are certainly lots of tough or muscular Japanese men, the general trend seems to be toward very slim more than anything. And that works for a lot of women–Japanese or otherwise!

▼It really doesn’t get much more macho than Freddy Mercury!

But some women just like a macho guy or at least a guy guy who is noticeably larger than they are. Since there’s a perception in Japan that foreign guys are just that, we can see why Japanese women who prefer that type of man might end up dating only foreign guys.

7. Something different

Dating someone with a different background–whether cultural or otherwise–can be fun, enlightening, and, sometimes, downright frustrating as all hell. But even when it’s frustrating, it can still be interesting, right? Would you rather fight about leaving the toilet seat up or the intricacies of some societal impasse neither party can fully articulate?

Hunh, that sounded better before we said it out loud.

Anyway, a big part of dating is having fun, and getting to know someone with a completely different background can be a lot of fun. So we can definitely understand the appeal of seeing mostly foreign guys.

8. Living abroad

If you’re interested in living abroad some day, marrying a foreign national is one way of opening up your chances. While we don’t want to give you the impression that there are tons Japanese women out there dating foreign guys just so they can some day live abroad, but there might be a few for whom it’s a significant consideration or at least a nice additional perk.

▼Spouse visa: Now sexier than chest hair?

While that might seem a bit alarming, just think of all your friends who got married to a Japanese person and bragged about their awesome spouse visas. The jerks…

9. Language skills

This one will probably not come as a surprise to anyone who has spent time in Japan: Some Japanese women end up dating foreign guys for the free “language lessons.” And, of course, it works the other way, too, with non-Japanese people befriending or dating a native speaker in hopes of improving their (usually) English. But if you ever happen to notice a Japanese woman who seems really interested in only picking up foreign guys, this might be why. If you’re worried about being used, our only advice is pretending like you only speak Japanese! Or, hey, if you’re fine with being used they go for it.

As for any Japanese guys reading this in hopes of finding some relationship advice, we guess if you’re trying to get these same women to notice you, you need to work out, develop a high proficiency in a foreign language, and be more interesting? And maybe try carrying a girl’s bags and/or holding her hand once in a while!

Or you could, maybe, just find someone who appreciates you for you. If things are looking absolutely desperate, we mean.

Source: Sugoren
Featured image via First Date Ideas Inset images: Wikipedia (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)