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Not-so-mighty challengers assemble to determine Japan’s wimpiest Gundam!

Casey Baseel Mar 14, 2014
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As the most venerated of Japan’s many giant robots, Gundam casts a gallant figure. Whether he’s appearing onscreen in his newest anime installment, or simply casting his silhouette across the landscape, to gaze upon him is to be keenly aware of his unmistakable power.

Unless, of course, his back just went out. Or if he’s working part-time at the convenience store to earn extra cash.

You know what? With so many variations of Gundam out there, we’re starting to suspect that at least some of them are, in fact, wimps.

Photographic evidence has been piling up online that Gundam is secretly a pushover. It has come to the point where Japanese Twitter users have been trying to one-up each other by posting photos with the hashtag “the weakest-looking Gundam.”

▼ The weakest Gundam is still probably the mightiest Lego, though.

あり合わせのレゴでガンダムにしてみた。シールドとライフルも装備。あれだな、顔にこだわると似ないw。 #一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/AuqY3VyMrt

— 桂木裕 (@mayakima) March 12, 2014

Most of the contenders for this dubious title should technically be called Gundam hybrids, and we don’t mean that they’re fuel-efficient automobiles.

▼ Although those seem to exist, too.

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/Cu7GVeeiLu

— とよし魔 (@boxmanjp_TYSM) March 11, 2014

The point we’re trying to make is that most of these less than intimidating mobile suits were created by taking the head off one of the many Gundam models from toymaker Bandai, then sticking it on a body that significantly lowers its combat capabilities.

▼ For example, Sea Turtle Gundam.

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝　 pic.twitter.com/WavKq6IgBZ

— Zelガメス (@Zelgameth1) March 11, 2014

The tragic irony is that some of these concepts sound awesome on paper. For example, how about a mash-up of Gundam and Japan’s other runaway giant robot success story, Evangelion?

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/Y4KpxZIKUT

— はるかっか (@laura_eatos) March 11, 2014

This mecha-headed version of Evangelion’s Rei Ayanami wasn’t the only robotic schoolgirl either. For example, many people have complained about the slow pacing of slice-of-life anime K-On!, which is almost solely focused on a group of high school girls who hang out together and occasionally play rock music. Wouldn’t the show be more interesting if one of the guitarists was actually a robot?

▼ Who also happened to be under a cranium-shrinking witch doctor curse?

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/3a35EtWXvV

— おむれつ (@omuretun) March 11, 2014

While this design would make Gundam difficult for enemies to land a shot on, it also means he could be pushed over by a mildly upset infant.

https://twitter.com/pao__lily/status/443300853563133952

Ditto Twisty Gundam.

https://twitter.com/kyo512a/status/443383283909263360

A few entrants, while undeniably worthless in a firefight, seem like they could have their talents put to good use for more peaceful applications. Experts have long debated why soccer has been unable to catch on as a spectator sport in the United States. Maybe giant robots are the answer.

▼ Can Gundam succeed in changing Americans’ minds where Pele and David Beckham failed?

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/xu8ZPpqX7p

— 大刺@コカトリス愛好会会長 (@daaaisi) March 11, 2014

Q-Tip Gundam reminds us that good inner ear hygiene is just as important as maintaining intergalactic peace.

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/dTsXOCDDd7

— ちょむすけ (@danbool98) March 10, 2014

Unless replacing the head unit means the pilot can’t see, we have no idea how this one isn’t in fact the strongest-looking Gundam.

#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/KibZBuxkOz

— lynmock (@lynmock) March 10, 2014

Remember, to be the weakest, you need thin armor, poor stability, a complete lack of mobility, and your weak point raised high in the sky in order to be as vulnerable a target as possible.

ネタに走りすぎた感が否めない#一番弱そうなガンダムを開発した人が優勝 pic.twitter.com/v5vzHereEk

— フェルメール (@yamashun01Fb) March 12, 2014

A consensus has yet to be reached as to who deserves the title of weakest-looking Gundam, so we can expect challengers to continue limply tossing their hats into the ring. Thankfully, Gundam seems to be secure enough in his self-image that he doesn’t mind being the butt of a couple jokes.

▼ “Eh, whaddaya gonna do?”