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Japanese fashion mag’s bust augmenting technique: button your shirt wrong

Casey Baseel Apr 10, 2014
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It’s often said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, which in many ways is true. However, society generally frowns upon the practice of unattached women wandering around town carrying trays of delicious steak in order to attract a mate. When steak isn’t available, though, breasts make a handy substitute for catching a guy’s attention.

Now, a women’s fashion magazine in Japan claims it’s discovered a technique to instantly visually enhance any woman’s bust size, and all it requires is a button-up shirt.

Continuing our list of similarities between steak and the female bust, many men – whether right or wrong – feel that in either field, bigger is better. Breast augmentation surgery can open the door to a host of medical issues, though, leading many women to instead search for a natural way to make their bosoms seem more bounteous.

There’s the plunger technique, which we know from first-hand experience hurts like hell. We’ve heard of dietary methods such as starting every day with a jumbo-sized hamburger, which seems just as likely to increase your waist measurement as your cup size. There’s also been talk of eating large quantities of papaya and frog fallopian tube, although this combination might be dangerous, and really, wouldn’t you say your diet already has enough frog fallopian tube?

▼ “I certainly think so.”

Thankfully, this new method, shared by Twitter user Yellow Card, doesn’t require going under the knife, changing your eating habits, or sticking a pair of plungers on your naked body (in general, that last one is never the solution to life’s problems). To show you how simple it is, here’s the magazine’s model giving a demonstration.

https://twitter.com/aitaiima

All you have to do, the article claims, is button your shirt using the wrong holes. The accompanying text reads:

“By places the button in the wrong hole, the resulting draping of the cloth can be used to cover the contours of your body! By using the incorrect buttonhole at your chest, you can disguise a small bust.”

It’s an amazingly simple idea. Maybe a bit too simple, as several Japanese Internet commentators said they wouldn’t fall for such visual trickery.

“Is a girl who does this a ditz, or crazy?”
“Stop. All I see is a ditz.”
“Just makes you look like a ditz.”

We’re not entirely sure this look immediately identifies someone who’s lacking in mental capabilities. After all, we can think of at least three other plausible scenarios.

1. Guys could just think you’re so impressively hard-working and busy that you got dressed in a rush and didn’t notice your mistake.

2. They might be inspired by the way you’ve maintained your independence, even after losing most of your eyesight while heroically saving a group of children from the fire that started at the chemical plant tragically located next to their orphanage.

3. A few may even wishfully hope that you’re a nymphomaniac simply showing your disdain for these constraining “clothes” things that society shackles you with.

▼ Although, honestly, regardless of how a woman dresses, there will always be a certain percentage of men wishfully hoping she’s a nymphomaniac.

Still, that does leave a one-in-four chance of being thought of as a ditz, so you might want to ask yourself if you’re feeling lucky before trying to pull this look off.

Source: Jin, Twitter