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Japanese commenters hypothesize the source of a Goomba’s Killer Touch

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Is Mario a total wimp, or do Goombas have something hidden up their sleeves? Oh, wait…

You’ve all seen it, but you might not have really thought about it before. All it takes one touch from a Goomba (or almost any enemy, for that matter) to lose one of Mario’s precious lives. But, why? What does a Goomba possess that allows it to kill innocent Italian plumbers with just one touch?

Thankfully, Japanese netizens are on the case. Internet users have contributed to a list of possible reasons for a Goomba’s killer touch. Some suggest the Goomba is the lethal thing itself, while others suggest it carries a secret weapon. Here are some of the gems we found:

“Maybe Mario has really thin skin.”
“Lethal poison.”
“Allergies.”
“Walking mushrooms are too terrifying.”
“Because it’s too cruel to trample something with no hands.”

▼ Just look at that face. How could you trample something with that face?

On a slightly more dramatic note:

“It releases spores into Mario’s body that grow [and kill him] instantly.”

Here’s a particularly puzzling one (but still funny to picture):

“You can’t see it, but they’re holding a knife.”

Why is it puzzling? Well, as another user replied,

“But he doesn’t even have a hand to hold one…”

Some users raised even more life-changing questions:

“Oh, Goombas are mushrooms? I always thought they were kuri (Japanese chestnuts).”

▼ Just smack some black feet on those babies and…yeah, I guess that could work.

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It looks to us like the most likely candidate is poison. But perhaps we’ll never know the true answer!

What do you think a Goomba’s secret weapon is?

Sources: Fighters Matome
Images: Flickr/Jay Malone, Flickr/Flavio Ensiki

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