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Dragon Ball Super reveals Goku’s biggest secret: he’s never kissed anyone

Scott Wilson Oct 4, 2016
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Goku’s most powerful ability is somehow fathering two children without ever locking lips.

If you haven’t heard of Dragon Ball Super, that’s not too surprising considering it still hasn’t had an official English-language release yet.

The series takes place after the events of Dragon Ball Z – following the defeat of Majin Buu. It’s a brand new set of stories conceptualized and designed by original Dragon Ball creator Akira Toriyama starring Goku, Vegeta, and the rest of the muscly, yelling, lovable cast.

But one recent reveal in Dragon Ball Super has the fanbase scratching their heads in confusion. Here it is captured line by line: (translation/context below)

悟空……キスしたことないのに子供いるって……一体…… pic.twitter.com/C8DUVbEwxo

— あーきてくと (@f6b483) October 2, 2016

Trunks kisses love-interest Mai, which results in Goku making a comment.
Goku: Wow Trunks, you really put your mouth right up to hers!
Vegeta: Have you… never kissed anyone before, Goku?
Goku: Of course not!
Vegeta: But… you’re married!
Goku: What does that have anything to do with it?

▼ Whoa! Is your Dragon Radar going off at full alarm?
Because mine is!

https://twitter.com/1KingGohan/status/631660754404556800

Think about it. This small scene – if taken to be the literal truth – has a lot of implications to it. In Dragon Ball Z, Goku and his wife Chi-Chi have two kids: Gohan and Goten. And these aren’t two little side characters that can just be retconned under the rug; they’re just as much a part of the series as Goku!

But if Goku and Chi-Chi have never even kissed, then that means one of three very, very strange things is going on here:

#1. Goku is not the father of Gohan and Goten (scandalous!)
#2. Goku fathered Gohan and Goten without kissing Chi-Chi (aggressive!)
#3. Goku is lying (impossible!)

#2 and #3 don’t feel very fitting for Goku. His pure-heartedness was the reason he could ride the Flying Nimbus in the original Dragon Ball, and I refuse to accept that he’s anything less than the perfect cinnamon roll he once used to be.

So that leaves us with #1. Could it really be true? Could the pure-hearted Chi-Chi, who rode on Nimbus with Goku, actually be be flying around with another Saiyan while Goku is out saving the world?!

▼ “I love you, Vegeta!”
“Haha, Chi-Chi! You’re so funny. My game’s Goku.”
“Oh, er, right….”

Chi Chi e Goku #DragonBall #FelizDiaDosNamorados pic.twitter.com/XkkSBri2Au

— Hunter Academy (@HunterAcademyXD) June 13, 2016

If that’s true, it has so many implications that it could probably start a whole new series. Imagine if it turned out Vegeta or some other Saiyan was the father of Gohan and Goten. It’d be heartbreaking, but what a story!

Personally I always found Goku’s humanity to be one of the most appealing aspects about him. Sure he was a ripped alien who could destroy planets with hand-beams, but at the same time he was also a loving father and husband. So for Dragon Ball Super to take at least some of that away with one line is a little strange.

What do you think? Is Chi-Chi the universe’s most cunning adulterer? Or is Goku just trolling Vegeta? Find out next time on Dragon Ball!

Source: Twitter/@oh_yeah_unko via Kotaku
Featured image: Twitter/@DVPATaverna