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Japanese female pro wrestler uses “deadly weapon” to subdue opponent: a thick marriage magazine

Scott Wilson Dec 14, 2016
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Forget chairs or ladders, hit them with what really hurts!

We’ve seen before how intense and crazy the world of female pro wrestling in Japan can be. But recently one wrestler who goes by the name of Azu-nyan brought a devastatingly powerful weapon into the ring, the likes of which no one had ever seen before: a copy of Zexy, a marriage magazine.

▼ A typical Zexy magazine viewed from the side.

ゼクシィ分厚いので、わざわざ車を走らせた🚗 pic.twitter.com/WPZAo8pJhZ

— Toshi Hamamori (@toshi_hamamori) November 3, 2016

▼ Zexy is infamous for being one of the thickest magazines available,
clocking in at around 4 centimeters (1.5 inches).

ゼクシィってあんなかわいらしい表紙なのにくっそ分厚いのな…知らんかった pic.twitter.com/fGhZ01JDtU

— けん坊 (@ken_the_UR) May 28, 2015

Using such a destructive weapon in the ring had many people worried, especially those who work in bookstores and are burdened with the Herculean task of shelving Zexy magazines:

▼ *“*Zexy being a deadly weapon is something we in the bookstore
world know well. I just hope no one gets killed.”

「『ゼクシィ』は凶器になる」というのは書店員界隈ではわりとよく言われている話ですがついに女子プロレスで使われるようになりました。死人が出ないことを祈ります。#東京女子プロレス #婚勝軍 https://t.co/bGzNvTmGZk

— 伊野尾宏之 (@inooshoten) December 10, 2016

But alas, such concerns went unheeded, and the bloody bride-book battle still took place. Thankfully a referee asked to check the weapon to make sure it wasn’t being used to bring anything illegal in the ring. (Translation below)

あずにゃんゼクシィ持ち込む、木曽レフェリー当然チェック、あずさ「木曽さんに見て欲しいページがあるんです！」
木曽「何？保険？これ大事！結婚の時は保険のことも考えないとね。」
あずさ「今も払ってるんですか？」
木曽「今は保険料は払ってないけど慰謝料を、ってオイ！」 pic.twitter.com/vdiBeYPSrB

— ｼﾞｪｰﾑｽﾞextremeparty💉💉💉💉 (@extremeparty) December 10, 2016

Azu-nyan brings a copy of Zexy into the ring and the referee asks to check it.
Azu-nyan: “Oh there’s a page you just totally have to look at.”
Referee: “Hm? Oh, this one about insurance? That’s important to think about when getting married.”
Azu-nyan: “Are you currently paying into insurance?”
Referee: “Well, not at the moment, but once I get my settlement money- hey! Don’t try to change the subject!”

In the end the deadly weapon was allowed and the marriage massacre continued.

▼ Whack! Right on the head.
And she’s out as cold as the bride-to-be’s feet!

しかしゼクシィはのの子に誤爆 pic.twitter.com/068OprnEhn

— ｼﾞｪｰﾑｽﾞextremeparty💉💉💉💉 (@extremeparty) December 10, 2016

▼ But Azu-nyan’s reign of terror couldn’t last. A wrestler scooped her up like she was carrying her away after their wedding and dropped her to the ground.

https://twitter.com/extremeparty/status/807470735564230656

▼ A wrestler poses with the weapon that knocked her out,
while the referee takes a second look at that helpful insurance info.

精神的にも肉体的にも人を殴れる！ / 「ゼクシィ」は凶器になる…というのはhttps://t.co/1dRaxsgb1W pic.twitter.com/OrUxWR3NMJ

— Togetter（トゥギャッター） (@togetter_jp) December 12, 2016

Here’s how Japanese netizens reacted to this wedding warfare:

“Now this is pro wrestling!”
*“*Zexy just brings out the worst in everyone.”
“She should’ve worn a wedding dress to complete the image.”
“The mental damage is as devastating as the physical.”

Of course this isn’t the first time Japanese professional wrestling has gotten more intimate in the ring. There was that time a wrestler’s bra came loose and had to be emergency-fixed, and that awkward match where someone wrestled with a love doll for thirty minutes. Rumor has it they’re still wrestling to this day….

Source: Twitter/@inooshoten via Hamusoku
Featured image: Twitter/@extremeparty