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Suspected jewelry thief captured in Japan in comically slow-speed foot pursuit by police【Video】

Casey Baseel May 24, 2017
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Suspect unable to outrun the law or the limits of his cardiovascular system.

While Japan is an amazingly safe place, the country isn’t entirely crime-free. In the early evening of May 23, a man entered the branch of Elizabeth Jewelers located in the Chuo Ward of the city of Sapporo and attempted to rob the jewelry and watch emporium.

However, before the man could get his hands on any of the store’s wares, a police officer arrived on the scene, causing the armed robbery suspect to flee. The officer immediately ran after him, with the chase taking place on the sidewalks of downtown Sapporo and pedestrians heading home from work looking on. “These two guys were sprinting really fast, and they ran right across the intersection even though the light was red,” said an eyewitness.

The video below shoes that the pair did, indeed, cross on a red. As for whether or not their pace can be described as “really fast,” well, watch the semi-dramatic video and judge for yourself.

The suspect can be seen wearing a mask, gloves, and a pretty snazzy pair of sunglasses, though likely more to conceal his identity than for fashion purposes. He’s also dressed in a snug white T-shirt and form-fitting jeans that show, while muscular, he’s not the slimmest guy. As a matter of fact, for most of the video, he’s not so much running away as jogging away.

In all fairness, the robbery occurred around 5:20, and the suspect wasn’t apprehended until 5:26. It’s likely fatigue had set in by the time of final portion of the chase shown in the video. Even the slimmer police officer looks winded by the time it’s over. Once they begin grappling, they put each other into half headlocks and sort of just stand there for a few seconds before stumbling into a wall and sliding to the ground. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” demands the exasperated officer while lying atop the suspect, seemingly upset at having been forced to run so far. He then radios in “Suspect in custody. Suspect in custody!” between gasps for breath and waits for backup to arrive.

Online reactions have included:

“The suspect runs like a girl.”
“The police officer is soooo slow.”
“Wow, those dudes look worn out.”
“I think the guy who filmed this is faster than either of them.”

The police later issued a statement confirming that no injuries were sustained in the incident, and saying that the suspect was quickly apprehended. The suspect now awaits the judgement of the law, while the use of the adverb “quickly” awaits the judgement of linguists.

Sources: YouTube/ANNnewsCH via Jin, YouTube/HOKKAIDO UHBニュース , Twitter/@MasaK962
Top image: Pakutaso

Follow Casey on Twitter, where none of his professional or criminal activities require him to run very fast.