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Vegeta struggling to find work under Abenomics

Master Blaster Aug 9, 2017
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If an interplanetary warlord can’t land a job in this economy what hopes do the rest of us have?

It was many years ago that Prime Minister Abe promised a series of economic reforms that would pull Japan out of its slump. However, these measures, dubbed Abenomics by the media, haven’t exactly lit the nation on fire. Not to say our situation’s terrible by any means, but “malaise” seems to be an appropriate word to describe things overall.

For example, here we have former conqueror of worlds Vegeta out visiting Japan’s welfare offices. However, time after time he is refused an interview for a job.

▼ “Why was I rejected? Come on think… There must be some reason… Is my face scary?”

なぜ不採用なんだ...？
考えろ...何か理由があるはずだ...
顔が怖いからか...？ pic.twitter.com/PcUeA2AvmO

— リボルバーズ丸谷 (@kumintyo7gmailc) August 1, 2017

Why indeed? As is often the case with job hunting, even the smallest flaw in a resume can give potential employers a bad first impression and ruin your chances immediately. Okay, let’s start with the basic information.

Name: Vegeta
Sex: Male
Birthday: May 27th, 1996 (21 years old)
Address: Planet Vegeta 3-1-8 Saiya Corp 201
Education: Super Elite

Well, he’s lying about his age for one thing because I remember watching bootleg VHS tapes with him back in ’92. However, given the interstellar nature of his birth the math can get a little tricky, so it’s fair to let that slide.

Okay, let’s see what else he’s got.

Qualifications
Acquisition Date: None
Qualification Name: I have neither blind spots nor qualifications.

This is a pun on the word shikaku which means both “blind spot” and “qualification” and thus is slightly less confusing in Japanese. Although I think it’s a bold move to highlight your weaknesses in your resume with witticisms like this; it’s also a risky move and probably best avoided.

Hobbies / Skills
Hobby: Violence
Skill: Galick Gun

Activities Inside and Outside of School
Violence, Destruction, Plundering, Genocide, Candy Making

I’ll admit his resume isn’t perfect, but there’s nothing deal-breaking so far. As we all know, violence is a valued skill in today’s dog-eat-dog business world. And under the proper guidance a Galick Gun is a tremendous tool for untangling various workplace dilemmas.

Reason for Applying
Previously, I was acting as Prince of the Planet Vegeta. However, because my planet was turned to dust, I wanted to apply for a part time position at this supermarket. Moreover, I do not want this stress-induced M-shaped balding pattern to progress any more so wish to become a part-time member of your supermarket. I also wish to utilize my characteristic fighting power to make your pathetic customers happy.

Oh okay, here we go. Vegeta made the classic mistake of making his “Reason for Applying” all about himself. Outside of mentioning a “supermarket” this is pretty much a cut-and-paste response that could apply to any potential job. What employers want to see here are specific details about their organization to let them know you are sincerely interesting in becoming a part of their team.

For example, he could have written, “I read on your corporate profile that you like to undercut your competition. Well, one time on the Planet Namek I cut down hundreds of civilians who were in my way.”

Again, I’m not suggesting Abenomics is a complete disaster, but it’s a bad sign when even one of the strongest princes in the galaxy can’t land a job in these trying times, even with his slick CV photo in formal attire. However, one Twitter user mentioned a possible improvement to which he obliged.

これで大丈夫ですかね？ pic.twitter.com/HrG9ifZ0cO

— リボルバーズ丸谷 (@kumintyo7gmailc) August 1, 2017

I know, in a perfect world it shouldn’t matter if you can go super-Saiyan or not when it comes to getting employment, but you have to work every angle in this tight job market. After all, we can’t all be the corporate darling that Freiza is.

Source, featured image: Twitter/@kumintyo7gmailc