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Shigeru Miyamoto’s reason for not creating Wario and Waluigi’s love interests is… kind of mean?

Scott Wilson Sep 7, 2017
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Where are the “evil” versions of Princess Peach and Daisy?

Shigeru Miyamoto, the mastermind behind Nintendo’s Mario, Zelda, and Star Fox franchises and more, is one of the greatest game designers of our generation.

But at the same time, he’s been known to hold a few “interesting” opinions on games, such as wanting James Bond to kiss and make up with his enemies at the end of the Nintendo64’s Goldeneye, and himself claiming that he is Bowser Jr.’s mother… don’t think about that one too much.

And recently Nintendo blogger Supper Mario Broth brought to the attention of the Internet another odd statement from Miyamoto, concerning why we’ve never seen the love interests for Wario and Waluigi (the “evil” counterparts of Mario and Luigi).

▼ The source may be a 12-year-old Nintendo Power magazine,
but considering we still haven’t seen them, it’s just as relevant today.

The reason Wario and Waluigi have no girlfriends, from a Nintendo Power interview with Hiroyuki Takahashi and Syugo Takahashi of Camelot. pic.twitter.com/n2cISa1klD

— Supper Mario Broth (@MarioBrothBlog) September 3, 2017

So just to be clear, Miyamoto says that the reason they never created romantic partners for Wario and Waluigi is because “he didn’t even want to see their girlfriends.” He’s not necessarily saying that they don’t exist, but just that he doesn’t want to have to look at them.

It seems like we can interpret this two ways: one, the girlfriends themselves are ugly enough that Miyamoto doesn’t want to see them; or two, Wario and Waluigi are so ugly that he doesn’t want to see what kind of women would go for them.

Either way, it just feels a little mean spirited. As for the first point, the girlfriends being ugly, the Mario universe already has several evil female characters, none of whom are “ugly” at all:

▼ There’s Wendy Koopa, Bowser’s daughter, looking lovely in her dress.
I could see her and Wario concocting evil plots together.

wendy would make a cute koopa princess! #Nintendo #supermario pic.twitter.com/gW419XSVpf

— Kira (◕ᴥ◕)✨CEO of bonks (@kiravera8) July 24, 2017

▼ There’s Birdo, who may not be human, but is still quite cute!

https://twitter.com/StoneColdDeluxe/status/899399402393137152

▼ And I could totally see Waluigi having
the hots for Valentina from Super Mario RPG.

It's Super Mario RPG's Valentina for @ClassyRaptor's #MarioCollab! pic.twitter.com/QicOfCdBhC

— Miluette @ bisky, etc | ace gadabout (@miluette) January 6, 2014

▼ Going outside the games, here’s an artist’s idea of what their girlfriends might look like: Princess Lazy and Princess Leech. Personally I’d love to see them!

But we know exactly who they are:https://t.co/b2ouSDB8lM

— M. Bulteau 🌻 (@MBulteau) September 4, 2017

And as for the second point, Wario and Waluigi themselves being too ugly, that’s just a matter of perspective. For example, Instagram artist Omar Dogan drew these pictures of the two boys looking quite sharp:

▼ Daisy apparently ditching Luigi to go on a date with Wario.
And with a chin like that, who can blame her?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYbCZn-BdTg/?taken-by=omardogan1976

▼ Maybe all Waluigi needed was a little
star light in his life to brighten it up a bit.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJG1GOpBxGn/?taken-by=omardogan1976

Here’s how Twitter responded to the accusation from Miyamoto:

“Wario is wealthy as f*ck so Id’ imagine he’s dating an incredibly conventionally attractive person.”
“Okay, we demand to see their girlfriends, Miyamoto!”
“Damn, Miyamoto is freaking coldblooded. Lmao.”
“Forever WAAlone.”

To be fair, there is one other canon reason why Wario may not have a girlfriend. In an “interview” on Nintendo Japan’s website, Wario was asked if he had any plans of getting married, and this is how he replied:

“I have over 100 million female fans all over the world! If I get married, then that’ll make them all cry! So? That means I won’t get married! Understood?! It’s not that I can’t*, I* won’t!!!!“

Okay Wario, we get it. But, just so you know, getting the Mario-themed marriage certificates is optional — you don’t have to have the face of your enemy stamped on your marriage license if you don’t want to.

Source: @MarioBrothBlog via My Game News Flash
Featured image: Instagram/omardogan1976