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In downtown Tokyo, we talk to a guy who says he’s from Orion’s belt, get called an “idiot”

Dale Roll Jan 30, 2019
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And this alien man told us that Earth’s sci-fi movies are completely wrong.

We humans have always been fascinated by outer space, and that admiration is reflected not only in astronauts’ ambitions to reach the stars, but also in filmmakers’ creative work in the science fiction genre. Unfortunately, it seems like our movies don’t get their interpretations of space life exactly right, because when our Japanese-language reporter Seiji Nakazawa asked an apparent alien what his favorite sci-fi film was, he got pretty mad.

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The alien in question has taken on the name Hachiro Hageyama, and he owns a Tokyo antique and space store called Space Village. The shop, which is located in the Yotsuya neighborhood, has a sign outside of it that says, “We have the world’s biggest selection of meteorites.”

Inside the shop, the walkways and shelves are crowded with supposedly rare meteorites from throughout history, including the meteorite that was discovered in Nantan, China, in 1516, and the Muonionalusta meteor that fell in Sweden in 1906.

Hageyama has collected all of these meteors because they are from his place of origin. The 82-year-old man says he is actually half-alien, half-human, and his alien side hails from the Orion constellation (though, disappointingly, not from the Godzilla constellation).

However, according to this pamphlet he gave Seiji about himself….he was actually born in Sakaiminato City, in Tottori Prefecture, western Japan.

Obviously, Seiji just had to ask him a few questions, to get behind the enigmatic story of this half-alien, half-human shop owner.

Seiji: So…this pamphlet says you were born in Tottori.

Hageyama: “That’s right.”

Seiji: But your hometown is the Orion Constellation…?

**Hageyama: “**Yes.”

Seiji: Wow, a real life alien from Orion! I never would have thought there would be an alien in Yotsuya. Do you travel to space often?

Hageyama: “I go all the time.”

Seiji: How do you get there?

Hageyama: “On a rocket I made myself.”

Seiji: You must be a genius! I heard that that’s where you get all of your meteors. Where do you keep your rocket? I’d love to ride it.

Hageyama: “Idiot! Do you really think I’d tell you my industry secrets? What preschool are you from?”

Seiji: Wow, you stretched that far back in time to dis me. As expected of an alien, your capabilities are on a whole other level Are there any other aliens on Earth?

Hageyama: “No, there are none. If there are, come find me!”

Seiji: So when NASA announced that aliens could have already visited Earth, they were talking about people like you. I really want to help you find your fellow aliens. Would you be able to tell if you met one?

Hageyama: “Of course. They’re my brethren.”

Seiji: If there’s a way to tell humans and aliens apart, please teach it to me.

Hageyama: “There isn’t. Not one that Earthlings would understand.”

Seiji: Okay, then I guess I won’t be able to bring you any alien friends. But don’t you feel lonely being the only alien on Earth?

Hageyama: “There are lots of them in space.”

Seiji: I see. So, I’d like to ask you then: as an alien, what is your favorite sci-fi movie?

Hageyama: “For example, Star Wars…“

Seiji: Oh! That’s a famous one.

Hageyama: “…is lousy. All the movies Earthlings think up are lousy.”

Seiji: Ah…They’re lousy…?

Hageyama: “Of course they’re lousy! Earthlings’ ideas about space are totally wrong.”

Seiji: So it’s totally different?

Hageyama: “Of course. It’s space.”

Seiji: How is it different?

Hageyama: “People in space don’t have wars. Space is too big.”

Seiji: That’s true. “Aggression” and “war” are some of the big selling points of Earthling sci-fi movies…

Hageyama: “Earthlings’ brains are really lacking. There are so many dumb Earthlings.”

Seiji: You sure don’t mince your words. So…do you have a favorite sci-fi movie?

Hageyama: “No. Not even one. Do you think I would like something thought up by an earthling?”

So there you go. Mr. Kageyama, a real life alien from the Orion constellation, says sci-fi movies have it all wrong. Some might say his credibility is a little bit dodgy, but Seiji found no reason to believe he wasn’t an alien. He had some pretty interesting arguments! Given his credentials, some might even say that the Japanese government should ask for his help in preparing for a potential alien invasion, but we don’t think he would be very helpful, given the conversation Seiji had with him.

▼ He did let Seiji try some space water, though. It’s supposed to be really good for your health.

In any case, you can visit Mr. Kageyama’s shop, have a nice chat with him, and buy some of his personally selected space rocks, which range from 1,000 yen (about US$9) to 5,000 yen per 100 grams.

▼ Seiji bought this little piece to bring him luck with money.

Space Village also, inexplicably, sells toys, Buddha statues, and brand-name purses. So go visit Hageyama the Orion Constellation alien and see what kinds of crazy goodies he’s got today!

Shop information
Space Village (Uchimura) / 宇宙村
Tokyo-to Shinjuku-ku Yotsuya 4-28-20
東京都新宿区四谷4-28−20
Open 10 a.m.-8 p.m.