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Japanese masturbatory aid maker Tenga releases dumbbells so you can pump up while you jerk off

Casey Baseel Aug 28, 2020
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A bold new frontier in multi-tasking.

As Japan’s leading maker of masturbatory aids, Tenga is no doubt well-aware that some people may snicker at the vigorous workout its customers are giving their arms and wrists. But with the company’s newest product, that won’t be a snide remark, but an accurate description of what’s happening.

The new Tenga Workout Gear looks just like Tenga’s flagship Vacuum Cup model, but there’s one important difference: it’s made out of cast iron, so that you can use it as a dumbbell for weight lifting exercises.

Of course, this is Tenga we’re talking about here, whose wacky marketing team has previously released toy robots and party crackers based on the design of its masturbatory aids. So this is just a dumbbell that looks like a Tenga, right?

Well, yes and no. Sure, you can use the Tenga Workout Gear as a completely chaste piece of fitness equipment if you want. As demonstrated in the video below, though, it’s designed to be flipped open so you can insert a Tenga inside the metallic shell, and then ostensibly insert yourself inside the Tenga.

The Tenga Workout Gear itself weighs four kilograms (8.8 pounds), and the total weight will be a little higher for those who choose to insert a standard Tenga inside (and higher still for those whose excitement causes them to make a deposit inside the inserted Tenga before their workout is over). The company has even prepared a list of suggested exercises, some of which would require considerable flexibility/length to use as self-love methods.

▼ Also, “One-handed destroyer” is a pretty terrifying name for an exercise that’s going to be at least psychologically linked to your dong.

▼ A video demonstration of the “Skull Compactor” (not to be confused with the Brainf**ker, since that’s from a different company altogether).

▼ There’s also a surprisingly tender and earnest video showing the Tenga Workout Gear being made by the craftsmen of metalworking company Castem, in the town of Fukuyama, Hiroshima Prefecture.

But while it’s repeatedly shown itself to be a company with a sense of humor, Tenga seems pretty serious about the health benefits, declaring “Tenga has created the fusion of fitness and masturbation.”

▼ No word on whether Tenga was inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger’s famous comments on his personal connection between building muscle mass and ejaculating.

Tenga Workout Gear will be offered in limited quantities, but is available now through Tenga’s online shop here, priced at 55,000 yen (US$520), and up to nine units can be purchased in each order, depending on how fitness-oriented/horny you are.

Source: Press release
Top image: Press release
Insert images: Tenga (1, 2), YouTube/TENGA Channel
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