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Kyoto police investigating cream puff attack on Bentley

Master Blaster Apr 26, 2021
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Pastry may or may not have been weaponized by attackers.

Cream-puff-related crime has been on the rise in Japan. Since I haven’t seen one since 2013, the incident that happened on 18 April, 2021 represents a 100 percent increase after eight years.

At about 10:30 p.m. in Kyoto City, a 30-year-old man who was working late left his office only to find his prized Bentley vandalized. All across the rear windshield was the delectably gooey components of a cream puff, also known as “choux cream” (シュークリーム) in Japan.

“It smelled terribly sweet,” he told media, “There was a cream puff wrapper in the trash can by the vending machine in front of the office, so I understood right away.”

He checked the security footage of the building and caught the two young perpetrators in the act. Although one person was hidden from view, his shadow was easily visible in the footage while the other man could be seen holding and hurling the pastry violently at the 15-million-yen (US$139,000) car.

▼ A news report showing the cream-puff attack [WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT]

Gross as it already is, this act went far beyond sugar and milk. After cleaning off the rear windshield, the owner found a small chip in the glass about the size of a baby’s fingernail. “I think there was something hard like a stone in it,” he said, “I was pretty shocked.”

Readers of the news were also shocked and disgusted at such a wanton disrespect for good food.

“What a waste of a cream puff…”
“What kind of person would have a cream puff in their hand and not eat it?”
“This is just senseless…”
“That is one person who will not be delighted by the taste of a cream puff.”
“This is offensive to cream puff lovers.”
“What drives someone to do something like that?”

Then there’s also the question of why someone would put a filthy stone in something as sweet and pure as a cream puff. If you’re going to throw a stone, then why not just throw a stone? Also, in the camera footage it looked as if the men were recording themselves, possibly to make a “wacky” video of their perverted destruction of food for social media.

We also can’t rule out that there may have been some foreign body already in the cream puff when it was purchased from an undisclosed nearby convenience store.

▼ Fresh cream puffs can be found in any major convenience store in Japan

If that is the case, then these two suspects may have actually accidentally saved a life as a result of their careless destruction of a dessert and subsequent scratch on a luxury car.

The answers to these mysteries will have to wait until a full forensic investigation is conducted and the men are apprehended dead or alive. I’m assuming all this is currently happening right now because another crime this heinous could be seriously damaging to Kyoto’s reputation as a dessert-loving city.

Source: FNN Prime Online, Hachima Kiko
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