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Aomori police on the lookout for man shouting unsolicited advice at kids about dating and ramen

Master Blaster Sep 29, 2021
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Sounds like someone’s never heard of social media.

We all have our opinions on instant ramen such as how well it stacks up to restaurant ramen or how putting some pudding inside makes for a really nice bisque. But these views have their time and place, and shouting them at kids on the street is not one of them.

That’s why police have been alerted to an incident that occurred in Hirosaki City in the northern prefecture of Aomori. At about 5 p.m. on 27 September, an unknown man shouted out to a child or children the following piece of advice:

“If you get into a relationship with someone, get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t eat cup ramen.”

The kid or kids involved did the right thing and reported the strange encounter to the police, describing the man as in his 40s, overweight, and balding. He was riding a bicycle and wearing a white shirt with navy slacks. The only details missing are a name, address, and reason why he feels enjoyment of cup ramen is an especially bad trait of a potential romantic partner.

Those who saw the bulletin online seemed to look at the suspect’s description and think he was referring to the toll a lifetime of instant ramen had taken on himself.

“He sounds like he’s eaten a few cups himself, lol.”
“He’s clearly a bagged instant ramen guy.”
“Well, I eat ramen three times a day and am bald, so…”
“He must have just had a spiritual awakening about himself.”
“He makes a strong argument. I think those kids will never forget his advice.”
“He just made a powerful enemy in Nissin.”
“He’s not wrong though.”
“Maybe he is one of those kids who traveled back in time.”

However, it’s equally plausible that this has nothing to do with his own habits and it is just his general opinion that a boyfriend or girlfriend who eats cup ramen is not a good choice for a dating partner.

In addition to why he’s shouting this at kids he doesn’t know, this also begs the question of why we shouldn’t date people who eat cup ramen. A heavy ramen habit is generally not advisable for good health, but as we saw before, it’s not impossible to balance an even above-average love of ramen with a good diet.

Then there’s the fact that he singled out “cup ramen,” which might suggest it’s a matter of income status, but as we found in our own extensive studies bagged ramen is far cheaper.

▼ Mr. Sato flaunting his 40-yen (US$0.37) bag of ramen

Hopefully the police can find this person soon and determine if he is a threat to society or just someone who doesn’t know how to properly share his bad opinions. If the latter is true, then we can only hope they teach him how to make a Twitter account with a handle ending in 20 digits and a silhouette avatar so he can do his thing the way God intended.

Source: Gaccom Anzen Navi, Itai News
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