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Trying on Amazon Japan’s low-rated tattoo shirt to feel like a Showa-era punk

Shannon Oct 29, 2022
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It’s like body paint, only with lower ratings.

Have you ever wanted to see what it’s like to have a tattoo without actually committing to it? Our Japanese-language reporter Masanuki Sunakoma hasn’t, but he thought wearing a tattoo shirt might help him warm up to the idea. And so, he started his hunt on Amazon Japan.

He stumbled upon a tattoo shirt with an ochimusha pattern, a defeated solider that fled their enemy, which isn’t a pleasant status to have. Based on the Amazon product page, the shirt looked very much like tattoos. Masanuki figured it would scare people off, but it would also warm him up in the increasing Japanese autumn chill.

▼ It’s also a great conversation starter (or a way to make people avoid you).

The ratings and comments on Amazon weren’t very assuring, though. First of all, it had an average rating of 2.3 stars. In the comments, some said they received a different product than they ordered, and one person even said they were sent a sleeveless shirt despite ordering a long-sleeved one.

▼ Sleeves or no sleeves? Take your guess now.

The shirt was delivered to Masanuki in an envelope. It was so light and folded just so in a way that he wasn’t sure whether it actually had sleeves until he opened it. Please let there be sleeves!

▼ Uh oh, now we’re even more anxious.

He turned the package over and saw a picture of six products that weren’t even listed on the Amazon product page. Out of the six, three were sleeveless. “Was this like a T-shirt gacha gacha?” Masanuki wondered. Would he receive one of the six patterns randomly?

▼ His nerves peaking, Masanuki slowly unfolded the shirt.

▼ Phew, long sleeves!

The shirt design he ordered was delivered correctly. What a relief! It looked pretty realistic, though, so it wouldn’t be as much of a relief to people who saw him wearing it, Masanuki figured.

▼ And when he actually wore it…

Yikes, he looked like a retro thug straight out of the Showa era (1926-1989). If he were cast in a drama, he’d possibly be in a yakuza group and definitely be the silent, no-good justice-server, albeit a side character.

▼ Don’t mess with Masanuki.

What he liked most about the shirt was how over the top it was. No matter how much you like ochimusha, you’d have to admit it’s overkill to have it all over your arms, back, and chest.

▼ Yet somehow, that only makes it cooler.

In terms of the shirt material, it was perfectly fitted and warm–just note that it’s only available in one size. You could get away with wearing it as an undershirt as long as you don’t flash it to people when taking it off.

Would Masanuki recommend it to people thinking of getting tattoos? Absolutely! Would he recommend ordering this specific shirt? Yes, as long as you’re alright with the possibility of getting a sleeveless shirt instead of a long-sleeved one. He’d give it four stars, which is 1.7 stars more than its average rating of 2.3. He’d even consider pairing it with Amazon Japan’s lowest-rated hat.

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