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Is it OK to split the bill on a date in Japan? Survey asks what women and men of different ages think

Casey Baseel Feb 17, 2023
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Four times as many women in one age group expect the guy to pay for everything than in another.

You can’t buy love, but there’s a lot of spending involved in the search for romance. Whether you and your special someone are headed out to watch a movie, dance the night away, or dine on the 24th worst food in the world, dating comes with expenses, which raises the question of who should pay?

Japanese dating app Omiai recently conducted a poll of 217 men and 247 women who have a romantic partner, asking them for their take on the situation. While some might expect young women to be of the mindset that it’s the guy’s duty to pay, female respondents in their teens and 20s were actually the least likely to say they want men to pay for everything. That sentiment started rising rapidly among women in their 30s, though, and kept going up from there.

“I want the guy to pay for everything for me.”
● Women in their teens: 14 percent of respondents within age group
● Women 20-29: 11 percent
● Women 30-39: 21 percent
● Women 40-40: 30 percent
● Women 50-59: 44 percent

Fortuitously for the women who want the guy to cover all dating expenses, the proportion of guys who said they want to do so was slightly larger than the women in their age group on the other side of that arrangement, with the exception of those in their 40s.

“I want to pay for everything.”
● Men in their teens: 15 percent
● Men 20-29: 16 percent
● Men 30-39: 30 percent
● Men 40-49: 26 percent
● Men 20-29: 48 percent

Meanwhile, the majority of women in their teens said their preference is to split the costs more or less evenly, which was also the largest response among 20-something women. The idea was significantly less popular among women in their 40s and 50s, however. Among men too, the even-split mentality also became less popular as they got older, with a smaller percentage of men than women wanting to do so in every age group except 40-49, where the idea was evenly popular between the two genders.

“I want to split the costs evenly.”
● Women in their teens: 67 percent
● Men in their teens: 55 percent
● Women 20-29: 48 percent
● Men 20-29: 36 percent
● Women 30-39: 40 percent
● Men 30-39: 26 percent
● Women 40-49: 26 percent
● Men 40-49: 26 percent
● Women 50-59: 25 percent
● Men 50-59: 14 percent

▼ The survey suggests, statistically, that this schoolgirl’s smile won’t disappear if she and this guy go Dutch.

Overall, the responses show more willingness to split restaurant checks and other expenses among younger couples, with a gradual but steady transition to the man covering more and more expenses among older couples. It’s possible that this is because of a societal expectation that older men should have progressed far enough in their professional field to be making a comfortable enough living to be able to gallantly pay for everything on a date, and so individual women’s feelings changed as they themselves got older. It could also be, though, that the economy of today allows young women to earn more than the older female respondents did in their youth, and that from-the-start concept that men and women alike are members of the workforce might be eroding the idea that the guy should be the one to shoulder any date-related financial burdens.

And although they were the smallest responses for each age group, the survey did find some women who said they want to be the ones paying for everything on a date, as well as some men who said they want to be the ones being treated.

“I want to pay for everything.”
● Women in their teens: 2 percent
● Women 30-39: 4 percent
● Women 50-59: 2 percent

“I want the woman to pay for everything for me.”
● Men 20-29: 6 percent
● Men 30-39: 4 percent
● Men 40-49: 4 percent

So really, there’s no absolute answer to the question of if you should treat your date or split the bill, so the safe thing for a guy to do, especially early on, is to at least offer to pay, even if deep down inside he’s hoping his date will counter by offering to split the bill.

Source: PR Times
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso (1, 2)
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[ Read in Japanese ]