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What’s The Best Thing You Ever Said To Your Teacher (To Make Them Completely Lose It)?

Danielnishina Aug 9, 2012
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We’ve all had teachers with a variety of temperaments. Some were cool, mellow. Some awkward, or just characters. （But hey, teachers are human too and they have to put up with students’ quirkiness as well).

Have you ever said or done anything that pushed your teacher over the edge, even for just a second? Below are an assortment of such utterances taken from a 2ch thread titled “Tell Us Something You Said That Pissed off Your Teacher.” Some of them may sound weird, and you may be shocked at the violent reaction of some of the teachers, but you need to take into account that some forms of hitting are still considered acceptable in Japanese schools.

“Why do we have to stay awake for a music class that’s the day before our entrance ceremony?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t regret it though.” (And then he hit me.)
“I come to school only because it’s mandatory!”
(In the teachers’ office,) “Basically, you only think about yourself.” (I nearly got slugged for that one.)
I answered like I do to my mom, like “Yeah, yeah, okay”.
In PE class, the teacher was playing soccer with us and fouled someone. So I said, “Damn, why so serious?” after which he became enraged and started chasing after me. But I could run faster than him so we ran all over the field. And with all my classmates just staring open-mouthed.
The room was hot. My teacher was bald. I was like “There’s not enough h… aaiiirrr in here!”
“What are you, stupid? (lol)” To the principal no less.
Someone almost got kicked out of school for saying to the principal, “So is that a toupee?”
“I didn’t turn it (my homework) in because I didn’t do it!” I was the first one to make this teacher angry.
I stuck just my elbow out my t-shirt sleeve and yelled, “Ototake-san!!!” (Ototake is a famous sports writer with no arms or legs, who wrote several inspirational books.)
Teacher: “What do you have to say for yourself?! Say something!” Me: “Something.”
After the teacher scolded me for a good while, I said, “So, is that all you have to say?”
Every teacher I’ve had who’s older than 40 loses it when I sing “Soshi March” (The “hit song” of Aum Shinrikyo, the group that gassed the Tokyo subway system in the 90s.
I didn’t turn in an assignment, and the teacher said, “What, you think this class doesn’t count or something?”, to which I replied, “I may have felt that somewhere in my heart”.
Teacher: “Why are you late?” Me: “I stopped at McDonald’s to eat breakfast”.
I was flipping through university catalogs and said to my teacher, “But I want to maintain my unhealthy lifestyle, apathetic attitude and refusal to grow up”.
Teacher: “What is that (look on your face)?” Me: “It’s hereditary”.
(After reading this Madam Butterfly-like story where the guy leaves the woman pregnant to pursue his own career), “So basically he popper her and dropped her”. My teacher didn’t hit me but was glaring icicles.
I replied “Yes sir” to my English teacher, and he had a fit.
I called this classmate who has dark skin, “a black guy” and my teacher, in his rage, was like, “So, what are you, white?”
I once replied using hand gestures like Italians or something, and my teacher responded by hitting me over the head with a binder.
Teacher: “If you’re not going to do it right, get out of here!” Me: “Got it!”
“Wow, you’re wearing a lot of make-up!” got me slapped in the face.
There was a kanji he said was written in 4 strokes, and when I corrected him and said it was 5, he went ballistic.
Teacher: “I’d like to see the look on your parents’ faces (about blahblahblah)”. Me: “But in reality, if you met them you’d grovel, right?”
Our teacher went to defcon 1 when she overheard my friend saying, “It’s still morning. Why is she so hyper?”
My teacher blew up after telling me to do something, and I said, “I’ll use my discretion”.
“If I pass (my university entrance exam), let me hit you once”, which led to his hitting me 3 times.