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Japanese government hires leading comedy agency to explain national defense spending

The number one rule of comedy is unwavering loyalty to the government.

I suppose in terms of things on a global scale, the Japanese government isn’t doing all that bad. It’s just that with all the talk of how Prime Minister Takaichi works constantly and rarely sleeps, I was sort of expecting something more in the way of results. 

Don’t get me wrong, since coming into power, her cabinet pissed off China right quick, jacked up visa fees, and made it so people can’t poop on the flag. These are all indeed things that were done, and yet, all those efforts don’t seem to have changed the fact that the cost of living in Japan keeps going up and that entire cities are on the verge of being taken over by bears and monkeys.

One other thing the Takaichi cabinet has been hard at work at is amending the constitution of Japan to give the military more freedom to take action in overseas conflicts that may not directly threaten the safety of this country. Opponents of this idea say that it goes against the principles of Japan’s previously pacifist constitution, but maybe this is just a very complex situation in an increasingly destabilized world, which may have aspects not everyone is aware of. If only there was a sassy comedy duo that could explain it all in terms an average Joe can understand!

And just like that, our prayers are answered. The Government Public Relations Office has teamed up with Japan’s leading comedy talent agency Yoshimoto Kogyo to produce a campaign that explains why some of the seemingly uninspiring things the government’s been doing are actually very good.

Yoshimoto specializes in the style of comedy known as manzai. This is a bit of a throwback to the vaudeville era of Western comedy, often involving duos wherein one is the straight man (tsukkomi) and the other the funny man (boke). This particular series seems to employ a Burns and Allen style combo featuring the husband Kunio and wife Tamiyo, as they trade quips over national policy.

▼ A video trailer for the campaign

The art of manzai is largely associated with the culture of Osaka, and is often best delivered in an Osaka dialect and accent, which I prefer to liken to a Staten Island accent, more or less based on vibes alone. There are currently seven pages where Kunio and Tamiyo crack wise about national policy in this manner of speaking, so let’s take a look at their talk about national defense.

Tamiyo: “Did you know that Japan’s support ships help sustain our daily lives? They support the world, and Japan is supported as well.”

Kunio: “Actually, more than 80 percent of the ships they protect belong to other countries! Japan helps to safeguard its allies, so the world protects Japan in return. We work together and look out for one another, ya know?”

…

Oh, that’s it? Hahahaha!

Granted, it’s hard to make cooperative maritime defense funny, or at least, it’s hard when your job is being a government mouthpiece. Let’s see how they handle some softball topics like the space program instead.

Tamiyo: “You ever take it for granted that we can go places we’ve never been before and don’t get lost?”

Kunio: “Actually, we’re being guided from space. Japan’s Michibiki satellite system provides us with directions around the clock.”

…

Sorry, I was thinking about something else there. That one was quite a whiff too, wasn’t it? Alright, let’s take a look at their hot take on AI. This should be a slam dunk since the characters appear to have been hastily generated by AI themselves.

Tamiyo: “You think since AI can help with things like planning meals or finding information, it can also be useful for national security?”

Kunio: “Actually, efforts are underway to leverage AI so that it can help safeguard the nation.”

…

Jeez, they’re hardly even using an Osaka dialect in these. Getting a comedy routine down solid is hard work and takes time. We can at least see the seeds of the mansplaining premise beginning to sprout. It all makes me wonder if maybe I’m being too hard on the comedic stylings of Tamiyo and Kunio. Let’s see what online comments say about them.

“Are they trying to brainwash us with propaganda now?”
“The all-knowing man teaching his dimwitted wife. This really encapsulates why Japan ranks 114th out of 145 countries in the Global Gender Gap Index.”
“This is the lowest form of propaganda. I’m done supporting Yoshimoto and won’t buy anything their performers do commercials for.”
“They clearly think the public is stupid. They’re looking down on all of us.”
“They must think we’re insanely gullible.”
“It seems that the country is the role of the ‘husband,’ and the people are the ‘wife,’ which is also just creepy.”
“There is no way this will foster understanding. Stop it immediately.”
“Don’t waste our tax money on this garbage. If the Prime Minister would just show up in the Diet to provide proper answers or hold actual press conferences, this wouldn’t be necessary!”
“This is very dystopian.”

I scrolled far and wide and could not find anyone with an even remotely positive thing to say about this campaign. It does not bode well for the government, whose recent lifting of a ban on exporting lethal weapons is currently opposed by about 57 percent of the population, according to a poll by Japan’s Kyodo news organization. Kyodo also cites sources inside the government as saying that explanations of policy that avoid words like “lethal” would be more effective in swaying public opinion. 

That does sound a tad Orwellian, but we shouldn’t knock it till we try it, so let’s see what Tamiyo and Kunio have to say about the nation’s defense policy.

Tamiyo: “You ever think we take uneventful days for granted?”

Kunio: “Actually, the fact that nothing newsworthy happened today just goes to show ya. A day where ‘nothing happens’ ain’t no coincidence. It’s the result of tireless work to keep us safe.”

Ha! Those two kill me.

Source: Public Relations Office – Government of Japan, PR Times, Kyodo, My Game News Flash
Images: PR Times
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