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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 190)

Hamsters Are Watching You

Master Blaster
Dec 25, 2012
Tweet

“Hamsters are watching you.”

Before, when I said this to people on the streets they would run away and get the police involved.

Well who’s laughing now? Thanks to this video documentation uploaded on YouTube, my paranoid delusions have been proven to be real. In it, the brave camera person captured a hamster stakeout in progress.

My delirium was further validated by Yahoo! who chose this shocking footage as the “10th best animal video of 2012.”

Internet, Japan
(cute • hamster • spying • video • YouTube)

Japanese Men Share Their Worst Christmas Experiences Ever: Pikachu, Platoon and Painkillers

Master Blaster
Dec 24, 2012

So this is Christmas. The time where we all sip eggnog by the open fire enjoying the gentle blanket of wet snow covering a meadow as a deer scampers by, right?

Of course not, it’s raining here now and my glasses are broken. Still, I’d consider this an average holiday season for myself. For many out there, Santa has little more than a big bag of suck to stuff in your stocking.

Don’t sweat it though. Every year can’t be a winner. For those having a blue Christmas, the website MyNavi has compiled a list of Japanese men’s worst Chirstmas experiences.

Japan
(Christmas • crappy • depressing • funny • survey • true stories)

Breathtaking Meteor Shower Video Taken against Starry Winter’s Night in Nagano

Master Blaster
Dec 24, 2012

If you were to ask me to go out at midnight in the middle of December and look for meteors, I would say “No way, I’m watching a Very Brady Christmas. Get out of here.”

However, in the evening around December 14, while many of us were warmly tucked away in our cat capes, an annual celestial event took place above.

One brave photographer spent a chilly night in a Nagano park to capture these meteors for us all to see.

Internet, Japan
(meteor • photography • YouTube)

The Smell of a Tanuki Monster Captured in a Perfume, Approved by the Triforce

Master Blaster
Dec 24, 2012

Yuru-kyara, those lovable mascots of urban and rural districts all over Japan, have finished their annual yuru-kyara Gran Prix with Bari-San the chicken clinching a long awaited first place.

But that doesn’t mean these men and women in giant animal costumes have time to rest. No sir. Just as the last Gran Prix closed yuru-kyara it’s now time for the hundreds of mascots to begin campaigning for next year’s vote.

This brings us to Takibou, the Tanuki Monster of Shaolin Temple (not the kung-fu one) in Hachioji, Tokyo. Takibou had finished 58th place (top 6%) in 2012 and is hoping to improve on that performance. So, for the first time – probably in the world – a mascot is releasing their scent for the public to buy.

Japan
(perfume • Takibou • Tanuki • yuru-kyara)

US Military’s Newest Robot Gets Upgrade… In Cuteness!

Master Blaster
Dec 23, 2012

Robotic Firm Boston Dynamic working with the US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) made a splash with a demonstration video of a highly functioning quadrupedal robot called LS3 (Legged Squad Support System).

When many internet fiends in Japan laid eyes on it they couldn’t help but think of Homo, a parody of girls into homoerotic art (fujoshi). It was developed on Twitter from ASCII art (┌（┌＾o＾）┐ﾎﾓｫ). Since then it has become something of a subculture phenomenon spawning various merchandise.

A few months later, has the US military improved LS3 enough to quell the giggling of otaku everywhere? Let’s see.

Internet, Japan, USA
(Boston Dynamic • DARPA • Homo • LS3)

Dragon Quest Staircase Floor Mats Are Out There, But Getting One Might be a Quest in Itself

Master Blaster
Dec 23, 2012

Recently the image of a Dragon Quest style floor mat was released on Twitter caused many long-time role playing fans to rise up as one and say “Take my money!”

Unfortunately for me and for thou, this mat, dubbed “Quest Mat”, cannot be bought by conventional means such as gold. In true Dragon Quest fashion it can only be found by searching the urban dungeons known as “video game shops” and then wrested from the clutches of the evil “staff” who are keeping them locked away from us.

Internet, Japan
(Dragon Quest • mat • stairs • twitter)

These Comfy “Cat Capes” Are the Purr-fect Last Minute Christmas Gift Idea

Master Blaster
Dec 23, 2012

With Christmas closing in, many people struggle to check off those last few names on their shopping list. It’s always those people who seem to have everything.

Luckily, Japanese decorative goods maker kraso has released a great new item we guarantee that difficult-to-buy-for person doesn’t have!

Consider this scenario, familiar to all of us: You’re reading a book of sheet music without any instrument around. You’re sitting on the floor beside a glass of milk while your book of Chopin’s Prelude is propped up on a box atop a chair.

What’s missing from this everyday scene?

That’s right. A cape in the shape of a furry cat hanging off your back.

Internet, Japan
(back • cat • kotatsu • warmer)

Japanese Man Recieved 1-Year Prison Sentence for Stealing 12 Cents

Master Blaster
Dec 21, 2012

On 13 May, 2012, 66 year-old Osaka resident Masafumi Tsuruhara was visiting Mount Koya in Wakayama Prefecture. While there, he thought he might help himself to a ten-yen coin (US$0.12), which was left at a statue as a religious offering.

For this, Tsuruhara was apprehended for stealing and brought before the Wakayama court, which sentenced him to one year and eight months in prison.

He later appealed to the Osaka High Court, which agreed that the sentence was too heavy for ten yen. The judge reversed the original sentence and imposed a new one of one year in prison.

Japan
(excessive punishment • jizo • Koya • theft)

Panasonic Develops Emergency Flashlight That Works on Any Size of Battery

Master Blaster
Dec 20, 2012

With only a few more days until the end of the world as we know it, surely everyone has their survival gear all packed and ready to go. But for those lazy-bones last minute disaster preparers Panasonic feels they have developed the “ultimate disaster survival flashlight”, called Any Battery Light.

As the name suggests, this flashlight can run on any common battery you find lying around, regardless of its size, from AAA to D.

Japan
(battery • disaster • flashlight)

Luffy Vs Goku in 3D! New Shonen Jump Fighting Game to be Released in 2013

Master Blaster
Dec 18, 2012

Bandai Namco has announced that work is underway on a 3D Team Battle game using the characters of the Weekly Shonen Jump collection of manga series. The game is set to be released in 2013 to commemorate the 45th anniversary of Weekly Shonen Jump. Color us massively excited!

Global, Japan
(Dragon Ball • new • One Piece • Shonen Jump • video game)

What Women Really Think of Sex Talk; Were Salt-n-Pepa Wrong All These Years?

Master Blaster
Dec 17, 2012

When a group of guys get together it’s not uncommon for the topic of conversation to turn to sex. Whether it’s true stories or just some blue jokes, the conversation will naturally float into X-rated territory every now and then.

And though some pretend it’s not the case, women can be equally, if not more explicit when it comes to talking about sex. I could pull some columns from major women’s magazines that would make you swear you were reading Penthouse Forum. This is all without mentioning that 50 Shades of Pervy series that all you gals are into these days.

While boy and girls are well and fine speaking of naughty things among the same gender for some reason, when we cross paths, the topic of sex becomes a minefield of inappropriateness. Topics of conversation guys would think nothing of bringing up with each other could easily become actionable in a court of law when in the presence of a woman.

NicoNico News recently went in search of that think blue line between appropriate and not ways to approach mature subject matter in the company of mixed genders. Let’s see what they found.

Japan
(advice)

Get Ready to Say “Gundam! This is Some Good Food”, Gundam Café Gearing Up to Enter Every Major City Across Japan

Master Blaster
Dec 17, 2012

The countdown is still ticking for Gundam Café’s third strike on Tokyo Station this 20 December. However, the execs at Bandai Namco Holdings have already leaked plans to target all major urban markets across Japan with their unique blend of coffee, pasta, and bipedal war machines.

So if you live in a major city such as Osaka, Nagoya, or Hiroshima, you might get your hands on a Haro latte sooner than you think.

Japan
(coffee shop • Gundam • Gundam Cafe)

KFC Japan Offering Free Trips to Osaka for Free All-You-Can-Eat Fried Chicken

Master Blaster
Dec 16, 2012

Kentucky Fried Chicken is getting into the holiday spirit with the All-You-Can-Eat Chicken Tour. From now till midnight on 20 December you can enter as often as you like to win a trip to Osaka where you can eat your fill of unlimited free KFC!

Internet, Japan
(all-you-can-eat • contest • KFC • twitter)

Bygone Fishing Technique Becomes Beautiful Modern Day Work of Art

Master Blaster
Dec 16, 2012

Fishermen all over the world know that lights are good for fishing. Insects are attracted to light and fish are attracted to insects, so they have evolved to also be attracted to light as well.

Even underwater, tiny organisms like plankton and shrimp are drawn to lights which draw small fish. The small fish also invite larger fish which can be caught by a fisherman smart enough to put the light there in the first place.

Many fishing boats are equipped with powerful spot lights intended to attract fish, and lights can be bought and installed under docks with the same purpose.

In Taiwan, this technique takes on a dramatic flair using actual flares. This beautiful and unique style of fishing was filmed by Kenny Chen who released a sample trailer for us all to see.

Let’s take a look!

Taiwan
(fire • fishing • light)

Sad Tweet from Sharp Galapagos Touches Japanese Twitterverse

Master Blaster
Dec 15, 2012

Official corporate Twitter feeds are generally boring affairs. Unless you’re really into the product or service mentioned and need to know immediately when something new happens there’s not much entertainment in them – certainly not anything that would move you.

So Japanese Twitter users were taken aback by a surprisingly heartfelt and candid tweet from the official account of Sharp’s line of computer tablets Galapagos. The tweet was a lament over recent downsizing in part due to the poor sales and economy.

Internet, Japan
(Galapagos • sad • Sharp • twitter)

Go Fly a Kite?! Not Any More! With Homekite You Can Stay Right Where You Are

Master Blaster
Dec 15, 2012

Picture the typical family, if you will. One Sunday afternoon, Junior runs into the den and asks Pa to go kite-flying together. “Not today, Junior”, said Pa, “It’s just not windy enough.”

Junior walks back to his room and plays Grand Theft Auto, sullenly killing policemen with a sniper rifle. Even though he got 15 headshots in a row, his heart just wasn’t in it. Once again Mother Nature had ruined his true passion – kites.

This tragic scene plays out in homes across the kite-loving world. So the brain trust at Takara Tomy came up with Homekite, the first (I’m guessing) kite to be used in the home.

Japan
(Homekite • kite • Takara Tomy • toy)

With the New Dual iPad App “Rich Book” You Can Up Your Chances of Being Mugged to 94%

Master Blaster
Dec 14, 2012

E-book readers are fast becoming the most popular way to get your reading done. They take up less space and can sometimes be lighter and cleaner than their paper counterparts.

Still, if you’re an old fart like me, you still can’t get used to holding a table and stroking your finger to make a virtual “page” flip over. It just doesn’t feel right.

But with “RichBook”, the new app from feedtailor Inc., you can sync a single e-book between two iPads, thus creating a real e-book book! Despite its name, the app is available for free to download.

Internet, Japan
(app • Apple • ipad • RichBook)

Cola War Breaks Out in Thailand

Master Blaster
Dec 13, 2012

On 31 October, the long-standing 59-year partnership between Pepsi Co and Thailand’s leading bottling company Serm Suk came to a close. As a result, Serm Suk launched a surprise cola blitz on the competition with a 300 million baht (US$9.8M) campaign for their own “est Cola”.

Since 2 November est Cola has set up strongholds in most major supermarkets and convenience stores across the nation. Also, in the short span of a month they were able to breach into what is considered by cola military analysts as the key position for victory – fast food soda fountain machines.

SE Asia
(cola war • est Cola • pepsi • Thailand)

Japanese Woman’s Rage at Slow Wii U Sends out Ripples of Doubt about Nintendo’s Newest Console

Master Blaster
Dec 11, 2012

As the Wii U (finally) made its Japanese debut on 8 December amid great fanfare, cosplay, and pizza, reviews sprang up across the internet like so many fireworks going off when Mario enters the little castle at the right time.

As we at RocketNews24 got our hands on a US machine ahead of the Japanese launch we were impressed with its smooth and fast handling, even while riding a bullet train.

So it’s a little surprising to us and many other Nintendo fans when one woman’s review turned to rant at the device’s excruciatingly slow time to switch between some simple screens.