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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 191)

Day of Wishes from the Dragon God Available on Yahoo! Auction, Seller’s Sister’s Panties Also Up for Grabs

Master Blaster
Dec 9, 2012
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It pays to keep a keen eye on Japan’s Yahoo! Auctions every once I a while. You’ll never know when you can get a personal live performance form your favorite band, or the opportunity to hire them to clean your home.

So imagine our surprise when the chance to have the Dragon God, Shenlong, from the Dragon Ball series for one day went under the hammer! And in this deal you aren’t limited to one wish like in the manga, you can make as many as you want.

Internet, Japan
(Dragon Ball • Shenlong • wish • Yahoo! Auction)

Amazing High Quality Color Footage of a Very Different Tokyo Circa 1935

Master Blaster
Dec 8, 2012

Even without ever having gone to Tokyo one can probably imagine the sprawling metropolis of 13 million people. It’s an ocean of buildings spackled with LED lights and paper signs threaded by vines of elevated walkways sitting atop a massive labyrinth of a subway system.

Of course it wasn’t always like this. Thanks to an incredibly well made and well preserved piece of film we can get a glimpse of a rare Tokyo. It was taken right between the city’s two 20th century destructions during the 1923 Great Kanto Earthquake and the 1944 firebombing campaign.

Japan
(1935 • Tokyo • YouTube)

Send Your Loved Ones Christmas Greetings, But Send it Secretly with Coke!

Master Blaster
Dec 8, 2012

Imagine you want to ask that girl or guy of your dreams out this holiday season, but maybe you’re too shy to do it out right. You could send a text or e-mail, but that’s kind of lame and bland.

Go figure: the megacorporation Coca Cola is here to provide you with a sweet, intimate, and memorable way to tell people how you feel.

It works kind of like a sugary time bomb of love. All you need is a plastic bottle of coke and a marker.

Global
(Coca-Cola • massage • secret)

Giant Robot Battle Fists Now On Sale in Japan! But With Great Robot Fists Comes Great Responsibility

Master Blaster
Dec 7, 2012

Finally you can put awesome power of giant battle robots in the palm of your hand— or around the palm of your hand—with GIANT ROBOT BATTLE FISTS. Now available in Japan! Sounds like the perfect Christmas gift to me!

Global, Internet, Japan
(Giant Robot Battle Fists • novelty • Think Geek • toy)

Chinese Man Rallies to Build “Noah’s Ark” for the End of the Mayan Calendar

Master Blaster
Dec 5, 2012

Is everyone ready for the end of the world in a few weeks? In preparation for Armageddon I’ve decided not to pay any of my bills. And that new toothbrush will have to wait until after 21 December, when the Mayan Long Count calendar expires.

I thought I had everything covered until reading reports from Chinese media about Lu Zhenghai from Xinjiang. The engineer is currently finishing off his own “Noah’s Ark” with an estimated price tag of two million yuan (US$320k).

China
(2012 • armageddon • Mayan calendar • Noah's Ark)

Why Don’t People Like the New Iron Chef? Was it the Fish Semen?

Master Blaster
Dec 4, 2012

Back in the 90s, I was a huge fan of the Iron Chef when it got imported to North American television. Although I was normally uninterested in cooking programs, something about the drama and pageantry that went on in Kitchen Stadium struck a chord.

The show was even imported to western countries who tuned it to suit their own tastes, and a lot of others around the world got into those weekly culinary competitions.

So when Fuji TV announced the return of Iron Chef to primetime television, a lot of buzz was generated. However, their two-hour debut claimed just a 10% share of the ratings, half of what the original program regularly held. It got worse from there as later episodes slunk to around 7%.

So what happened to our beloved Iron Chef? Everyone’s got an opinion and so do we.

Japan
(fish semen • Iron Chef • new • opinions • ratings • TV)

[Election 2012] Google Sets Up Face Time between Japanese Politicians and Voters

Master Blaster
Dec 2, 2012

With Japan’s general election looming on 16 December, the tension in Japan is so thick you could cut it with a noodle. Yes, the country has been mired in a political malaise of apathy since the days of Koizumi.

The Prime Minister’s seat has been a musical chair for the past 6 years with no dynamic leadership on the horizon to guide the country into the future. Government in Japan is largely a good old boys club where people rise to positions of power simply by being the grandson of some great leader way back when.

Google has set up a campaign to help politicians get more in touch with their electorate and hopefully hash out a plan for Japan’s future that people can get behind – not to mention help promote the social network Google+. Google Japan will be putting regular people face to face with representative of the major political parties for a little Q & A session on 14 December.

Internet, Japan
(election • Google • politics)

Outbreak of Rare Phantom Squid in Pacific Coast of Japan May Herald Imminent Earthquake

Master Blaster
Nov 30, 2012

Deep below the ocean lives the squid Chiroteuthis, known in Japan by the name Yurei Ika (Phantom Squid). The Japanese name comes from its ghost-like fluttering and floating movement.

It’s a squid seldom seen by people who don’t have access to a submarine and can visit their habitat 200 to 600 meters beneath the ocean. So when they started turning up in unprecedented numbers around the southeastern coast of Japan, experts became understandably alarmed.

Japan
(animals • Chirteuthis • disaster • earthquake • Sagami Bay • squid)

Japanese City Changes Name to “Xmas City” this December

Master Blaster
Nov 30, 2012

On 30 November, the mayor of Yamaguchi, Sumita Watanabe, declared to Nishinippon Newspaper that his city of Yamaguchi will be renamed “Xmas City” for the entire month of December. The move is a part of a tourism campaign which involves a month-long event of festive activities.

More than simply a PR campaign, Yamaguchi actually has a valid claim as being the launching pad for Christianity in Japan and thus the “hometown” of Christmas in Japan. Yamaguchi was where Saint Francis Xavier, the patron saint of Japan, and his followers celebrated their first Christmas.

Gather around kids, it’s time to hear the story of how Christmas first came to Japan.

Japan
(Christmas • Francis Xavier • Xmas • Yamaguchi)

Look Out Starbuck’s Gundam Café Has You in Its Sights, Opens 3rd Store in Tokyo Station

Master Blaster
Nov 30, 2012

When the first Gundam Café opened in Akihabara, people thought it was a cute little niche place for the resident otaku, but there’s no way a giant robot themed coffee shop would ever take off.

However, their blend of mechanically efficient service and sterile décor had led to a second Gundam Café to the south in Odaiba. Still, people wrote it off as a fluke.

Now, less than a year later on 20 December, the a 3rd Gundam Café is set to make a precision strike right in the heart of Tokyo: Tokyo Station. The coffee service industry may never be the same.

Japan
(cafe • coffee shop • Gundam • Tokyo Station)

Siri Puts the “Ass” Back into Personal Assistant with Her Japanese Record Debut

Master Blaster
Nov 28, 2012

Japanese independent musicians IOSYS (ee-oh-she-su) have a treat in store for us this Christmas. They created a concept album titled Teach me Shiri Sensei! starring everyone’s favorite virtual assistant who only knows what you’re saying half of the time, Siri.

You might be wondering from the image above why anthropomorphic moé Siri (yes, that’s her) has a severe case of plumber’s crack. It’s not just pervy for the sake of being pervy. In Japanese, there isn’t really a “see/si” sound. Instead, it’s a “she” sound.

First, this can make it very funny when a Japanese person asks “May I take a seat?” Second, this changes the pronunciation of Siri to “Shiri”, which is the Japanese word for “buttocks.” This word play is a major theme in the album.

Internet, Japan
(dojin • IOSYS • sing • Siri)

How to Make the Geekiest Drink Ever: #c0ffee. No, not coffee, #c0ffee!

Master Blaster
Nov 27, 2012

Have you ever heard that stoner question: “What does like, yellow taste like man?”

Recently a group of guys in Tokyo developed a recipe for a color called #c0ffee. Those who don’t use computers heavily may assume it’s a brownish color but…

It’s actually a light turquoise, like this.

“#c0ffee” is a hexadecimal color code, which is basically a combination of letters from a to f and numbers that web pages interpret as a specific color. Hexadecimal color codes are denoted by a hash tag so the little magic elves running the internet know that it’s not a string of nonsense. For example: #FFFFFF indicates black, #FF0000 indicated red, and #c0ffee indicates that light turquoise color above.

So how did they create a beverage the same color as #c0ffee? Is there even any real coffee involved?

Not in the least! The recipe for #c0ffee consists of sardines, cabbage and milk. What’s surprising is that after crating the recipe and putting on Cook Pad, Japan’s most popular recipe-sharing website, a couple of people actually tried it and said it was “delicious.”

Finding it hard to believe a bluish-green drink made from fish could be delicious, I set out to whip up a batch and try it myself!

Internet, Japan
(#c0ffee • color • drink • hexadecimal • niconico)

Looking for Work Fellas? How about a Job Where You’re Always Surrounded by Women? Nursing!

Master Blaster
Nov 26, 2012

As the global recession trudges along, unemployment rates remain high leaving many young men laid off or graduating without job prospects. Luckily a new avenue of employment for men has opened up in Japan.

Up until not long ago, nursing in Japan was exclusively done by women. Even as more and more women took on careers as doctors, the idea of a man being a nurse was about as absurd as a cow being one. However, nowadays more and more Japanese men are beginning to follow in the footsteps of Florence Nightingale.

So what are the pros and cons of becoming a male nurse?

Japan
(employment • men • nursing)

Korean Man Develops Sex Offender Detector

Master Blaster
Nov 25, 2012

South Korea has been enacting more stringent punishments for violent sexual crimes which appear to be on the rise in the country. As the government is recommending castration as a possible solution one citizen is doing his part to prevent these awful crimes.

His name is Hong Gwang Ui, a 43 year-old father of a four year old son, and using his knowledge as an engineer for the military he crafted a simple device which sets off an alarm if within 30 meters of a convicted sex offender.

Korea
(ankle bracelet • sex offender • tagging)

Briefs in Brief: Top Underwear Developments in Japan

Master Blaster
Nov 23, 2012

Things are getting busy for the unsung hero of clothing, underwear. In recent years developments in the underwear technology sector have been coming in fast and furious.

The following is a report of some progressive underpants that promise to cut smells, back pain and will rub your belly while you sleep.

Japan
(health • magnet • massage • technology • underwear)

The Slow Rise to Success of the Stapleless Stapler, Japan’s Latest Office Trend Poised to Take the World

Master Blaster
Nov 22, 2012

Get ready to say goodbye to staples. Not the office supply chain, those little metal pins we’ve relied on for so long to fasten papers together. Japan is currently undergoing the no-staple revolution thanks to some innovative new products that have surprisingly been around for a long time – stapleless staplers!

Global, Japan
(Harinacs • Office Supplies • stapleless • stapler)

Better Soccer through Feng Shui, Change of Place Hoped to Beef Up China’s National Team

Master Blaster
Nov 21, 2012

The Chinese Football Association (CFA) has had their hands full for a long time with their lackluster international national team. To add insult to injury, fans of Chinese soccer have grown even more disillusioned due to allegations of corruption in recent years.

Chinese media reports that the longstanding woes of the national team were due to some bad qi floating around the CFA headquarters. Apparently, having a building facing North by Northwest makes your executives degenerate gamblers.

However, by applying the principals of feng shui to their new offices perhaps the association can flow into a reversal of fortune.

China
(feng shui • football • soccer)

Mercedes-Benz Creates Anime Series or Commercial… or Both

Master Blaster
Nov 20, 2012

Mercedes-Benz seems to be pulling out all the stops to advertise their 2013 model of A-Class car, the A 180. In fact they have created a six-minute animated feature starring the A 180, in a rollicking race for the ultimate prize titled Next A Class.

Luckily, I grew up in the era of advertisements thinly veiled as cartoons. All the Noids or Cavity Creeps in the world couldn’t sway my purchasing preferences. Years of Chester Cheetah and Fido Dido have hardened my mind to the subliminal messages animations can carry.

So although this anime short was well made and entertaining, it in no way swayed my opinion of this sleek new A 180 that perfectly combines the high performance of a sports car with the economic sensibility of a compact.

Europe, Internet, Japan
(A Class • anime • commercial • Mercedes-Benz)

New Dragon Ball Z Movie Title Chosen, Limited Edition Tickets to Go on Sale

Master Blaster
Nov 20, 2012

Our collective rears were tickled with the teaser trailer for a new Dragon Ball Z movie penned by its original creator, Akira Toriyama this past summer, and now a new glimpse of the new movie has arrived – the official title. Along with the announcement comes a once in a life time offer!

Internet, Japan
(Dragon Ball Z • movie • title)

Tokyo University Makes Calculator Using Robot, What It Lacks in Usefulness It Makes Up for in Cuteness

Master Blaster
Nov 18, 2012

Japan is well known for both its love and skill of robots. Free of the terminator-induced prejudices of western cultures, they have blazed the way for robotic tour guides, waitresses, fish, singers, hairdressers, waste baskets, cyclists, rock-paper-scissors players, cockroaches, butts…

With so many robots, it’s hard to come up with an original one. But they are still out there. Tokyo University’s Center for the Study of Robotics came up with Denta-kun, the calculator using robot. Just to make it clear, the robot does not calculate. It just uses a calculator.