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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 192)

The Results are in! Did The Pocky Day Challenge Defeat iPhone5 for Guinness World Record?

Master Blaster
Nov 18, 2012
Tweet

Last week, on 11 November, Ezaki Glico celebrated Pocky & Pretz Day (11/11) with the Try World Record campaign in which the snack maker hoped to gather the most tweets containing the name “Pocky” in one day thus entering the Guinness World Records.

The goal was set at 1.11 million tweets, for obvious visual reasons, and to defeat the previous “The Brand Name Most Tweeted in 24 Hours” record holder, iPhone5, which got 1.08 million tweets on its release day. And the winner is…

Internet, Japan
(Guinness world records • iPhone • Pocky & Pretz Day • twitter)

Japan’s Newest National Stadium Design is Decided, but is it the Best Choice?

Master Blaster
Nov 17, 2012

Since its construction finished in 1958, Japan’s National Stadium in Shinjuku, Tokyo has served its nation proud. It was the field of play for the 1964 Summer Olympics and survived the 2011 Tohoku earthquake unscathed.

However, with the 2019 Rugby World Cup scheduled, it was time for a makeover to the tune of (pinky finger to lips) a billion dollars!

Japan
(architecture • National Stadium • Tokyo • Zaha Hadid)

Sugoi Battery = Great Battery

Master Blaster
Nov 17, 2012

Everyone heard about the thousands of people who were affected by a great disaster in the USA recently. Of course, I’m talking about ultra-conservatives and the re-election of Barack Obama.

For all the people moving into Unabomber-style shacks and waiting for the inevitable collapse of American society, we have great news! Sugoi Battery is exactly what you need to survive a disaster in the wilderness comfortably!

The name is derived from the Japanese word sugoi, which means great, awesome, kick-ass, and all that. So you can imagine it’s quite the power supply.

Japan
(battery • huge • portable • Sugoi Battery)

What a Deal! Get Your Smartphone Apps Installed for You— Just $12 a Pop!

Master Blaster
Nov 16, 2012

A lucky Twitter user came across a pamphlet the other day outlining some great deals on smartphone services. These people will go through the painstaking task of installing your smartphone apps for you at the low low price of 1,000 yen (US$12) an app!

In fact, they offer a wide range of useful services, such as installing Facebook, Twitter, or Skype— also for 1,000 yen each! And I always thought those were apps too. Boy, is my face red. I’m going to leave it to the professionals from now on.

Internet, Japan
(rip-off • shopping • smartphone • technology • twitter)

Man’s Wife Becomes Addicted to New Animal Crossing, Turns to Yahoo Answers for Help, Actually Gets Help

Master Blaster
Nov 15, 2012

The latest installment of the Animal Crossing series Animal Crossing: New Leaf was released in Japan on 8 November and sold out across the country soon after. It was such a success that the president of Nintendo had to issue assurances via Twitter that more copies were on the way.

For those unfamiliar with the franchise, Animal Crossing is a game with no set objective. You simply exist as the only human in a quaint forest village of anthropomorphic animals. You live out your days there any way you want, fishing, landscaping, shopping, and so on.

For one man, the new game ushered in an age of darkness for his household. His wife had become a slave to the friendly sheep and dogs who inhabit Animal Crossing. Rather than spending time with her husband, she was fishing for a trout to trade to Tom Nook for a lava lamp.

Disheartened, the man took the last resort of the damned. The one place wretched souls go to for answers before giving up completely – Yahoo! Answers.

Internet, Japan
(3DS • Animal Crossing • New Leaf • video game addiction • Yahoo Answers)

Senkakuwha? Chinese People May Have More Pressing Beefs with Japan than Some Empty Islands

Master Blaster
Nov 15, 2012

Looking back at the violence that occurred in the anti-Japan protests in September, I’m still baffled at why those regular people got so crazy over a land dispute between two governments in some remote area. Maybe I’m the only one who lacks that patriotic spirit that compels one set fire to a factory over zoning issues.

Or perhaps like almost every world event in history, there are more complex – usually economic – factors at play beneath the surface. At least that’s what a group of Japanese writers and journalists claim. According to them, the stage was set for this explosion of anger years before it happened.

China, Japan
(business • protest • Senkaku)

Chinese Railway Worker Suspended for “F**k’em Gangnam Style” Song Parody

Master Blaster
Nov 14, 2012

Boy that Gangnam Style is one catchy tune. The Korean smash hit has transcended international boundaries like few others before it. When I fry my eggs in the morning I “flip’em Gangnam style” and when I’m retiling the bathroom I can’t help but “grout’em Gangnam style.”

One day, a railway worker in China was feeling down about his job and needed to let out some emotions about it. Unfortunately, he decided to “vent’em Gangnam style” and record it… and upload it to a popular Chinese video sharing site. You can probably imagine what happened from there – imagine it Gangnam style.

China
(GANGNAM STYLE • middle finger • video)

Japan Develops Fart-Deodorizing Underwear: Silent and NOT Deadly

Master Blaster
Nov 12, 2012

Gather around boys and girls, we’re going to hear a frank and serious story about smelly farts, butts, underpants, and old people smell. More importantly, this story is about the man who may make all of these things extinct.

This story follows the creation of Inodore, a Japanese-made material that did something to stop not only fart smells, but a range of other body odors deemed “unpleasant” by society. This company has found a method to eliminate foul smells from the body without the use of any harmful chemicals or powerful perfumes.

Their clothing products currently on sale can trap and eliminate everyday body odors like sweat and gas by over 95%, 80% of which is erased in the first 30 seconds of contact.

Japan
(body odor • clothing • deodorant • Deoest • fart • Indore)

Meet the Great White Hope of Japanese Snowboarding: 14 Year-Old Miyabi Onizuka

Master Blaster
Nov 12, 2012

Snowboarding is still a young event in the Olympics, yet Japan hasn’t been able to score a medal. This has been frustrating for the country that hosted the first snowboarding event in ’98 and as whole has widely embraced the sport on a recreational level.

Well, here comes a new challenger! Out of Kumamoto Prefecture, 14 year-old prodigy Miyabi Onizuka is tapped to be the next big thing in Japanese snowboarding.

Japan
(jib • Miyabi Onizuka • slopestyle • snowboarding • Sochi 2014)

Pocky & Pretz Day 2012 Hopes to Break World Record and More

Master Blaster
Nov 11, 2012

Every year on 11 November people in Japan celebrate Pocky & Pretz Day. In case you don’t already know, Pocky are thin cookie sticks with chocolate, strawberry, or other flavored frosting. Pretz are a more mature stick with salty flavors. Their simplicity is matched only by their sheer addictiveness.

Because of the date’s resemblance to the snacks (11/11), every year, their maker Ezaki Glico cooks up a special campaign. In 2011 on Pocky & Pretz Day if you tweeted a special sentence using Pocky and a particular hashtag you could have won free snacks.

However, for Pocky & Pretz Day 2012, Glico has their sights set on entering the Guinness World Records.

Internet, Japan
(1111 • Guinness World Record • Pocky • Pocky & Pretz Day • Pretz)

China’s Aspiring Commercial Pilots Must Undergo Pit Stink Exam to Qualify

Master Blaster
Nov 10, 2012

In Asian countries, working on an airplane is considered a highly skilled occupation. Aside from the usual flying skills and regulations, both pilots and staff also need knowledge of another language (particularly English). On top of that, physical limitations like height and vision make for a rather shallow pool of candidates.

In China, a country often given a bad rap for lax regulations, the restrictions are even tighter as having smelly underarms is grounds for expulsion from becoming a pilot.

China
(armpit • body odor • China East Airlines • Hainan Airlines • pilot)

Japan Develops Single Passenger Silent Mini Electric Helicopters, Travels at 100km/h (62mph)

Master Blaster
Nov 10, 2012

Every once in a while a story comes along about a flying car or helicopter that fits in a briefcase, but they always disappear into the ether never coming to fruition. It’s understandable since everyone having their own mass produced flying machine would be a safety and law enforcement nightmare.

This time, however, Hirobo in Hiroshima Prefecture may be rolling out a personal helicopter that will actually get off the ground.

Japan
(electric • helicopter • Hiboro • personal • rescue)

LSH Pork Cutlet: It’s Finger Sucking Good!

Master Blaster
Nov 9, 2012

Everyone wants a little KFC, but Asia in particular has embraced the greasy wings served up by everyone’s favorite self-made restaurateur Colonel Sanders. In Japan, the Colonel is so beloved his statues can be found outside of nearly every franchise – often in costume. He even enjoys the same privacy rights as other citizens.

He is also the victim of various copycats this side of the Pacific. In Korea there is said to be a knock-off restaurant operating right next to a legitimate KFC in broad daylight. We sent Kuzo in for reconnaissance.

Korea
(Busan • Colonel Sanders • Kentucky Fried Chicken • KFC • Kuzo • string tie)

Explosion in China Claims the Life of Down Jacket, Washing Machine Left in Critical Condition

Master Blaster
Nov 8, 2012

As this autumn is just flying by, we’ll all have to break out our winter gear soon, if not already. For one woman in China it was time to buy a new winter coat to cope with the lowering temperatures.

Little did she know, that new fluffy down jacket was a ticking time bomb that went off right inside of her home washing machine.

China
(down jacket • explosion • washing machine)

Sushi: The Fragrance Released, Brad Pitt Hard at Work on New Poetry

Master Blaster
Nov 8, 2012

*For maximum enjoyment please read this article in the husky hushed voice of Brad Pitt. Thank you.*

It’s not a journey, it’s Sushi, a scent developed by Demeter Fragrance Library. The scent maker is hoping to catch the freshness of Japan’s signature dish so you have it with you all day.

But does it smell like raw fish? Does it have the eye-watering aroma of wasabi? Demeter says of course not, but what it does smell like is the source of some controversy.

Internet, USA
(cologne • Demeter • fragrance • sushi)

Softbank CEO Donates US$500,000 to Hurricane Sandy Relief, Becomes Embroiled in Twitter War with Some Guy

Master Blaster
Nov 7, 2012

Who doesn’t love a Twitter war? This wonderful modern age we live in lets celebrities make snide comments to and about each other as we all read along. And with the unprecedented interactivity social networks you too could be arguing with Ashton Kutcher about something!

Last week mobile phone mogul Masayoshi Son, who has a history of large donations, offered US$500,000 through Softbank to help the victims of Hurricane Sandy in North America and then tweeted about it. This act of philanthropy irked a twitter user by the name of o44o. Feeling that this was an act of blatant advertising through the use of a good deed he decided to voice his opinion to Mr. Son.

Internet, Japan, USA
(donation • Hurricane Sandy • Masayoshi Son • Softbank)

Under 50% of Workers in Japan Received Full Payment for Overtime According to Labor Survey

Master Blaster
Nov 7, 2012

As the world continues to change, countries like China have been experiencing overall improvements to their quality of life while traditionally more developed countries seem to be slipping in terms of job security and benefits.

According to a yearly study conducted by labor research groups and think tanks, only 46.9% of workers in Japan receive their overtime in full. This is a significant 8.9% lower from just a year before.

Japan
(labor law • overtime • payment • survey)

Most Patient Bank Robber Ever Arrested in Fukuoka, Foiled by Courteous Staff

Master Blaster
Nov 5, 2012

On the morning of 2 November a man armed with a kitchen knife entered a bank in Munakata city, Fukuoka Prefecture. Upon seeing the man, the clerk asked “What can I do for you?”

“Hand over the money.” he said quietly.

Then the clerk summoned all her years of training and experience as a bank employee and dealt with the intruder the best way she knew how.

Japan
(bank robbery • crime • doing it wrong • waiting area)

Otaku Marriage Hunting Masquerade Ball a Rousing Success! Second Date Added

Master Blaster
Nov 5, 2012

Last month we reported on the announcement of the 10th Otaku Masquerade Ball: Oka’s Bizarre Marriage Hunt where otaku looking for love don masks in search of a future life partner.

It finally went down on 27 October with a total of 17 participants (9 men and 8 women) all wearing mask that cover at least the top part of the face. According to the sponsor, Washimiya Youth Chamber of Commerce, everything went better than they imagined. In fact it went better than regular marriage hunting parties or gokons!

Japan
(ball • dance • marriage • masquerade • otaku)

Japanese Man Arrested for Using Novelty Cash, Clerk Tipped off by Laughing Yukichi

Master Blaster
Nov 4, 2012

Japanese paper currency is printed with the faces of various prominent figures. However, rather than past or present leaders, like many countries do, the yen banknotes are decorated with writers and a scientist.

For example, the 10,000 yen (US$124) bill has the likeness of Fukuzawa Yukichi, a highly influential writer during Japan’s transition from the feudal system to modern government. He is also known to have never smiled in a photograph, which is why when one man attempted to spend a 1,000,000 yen (US$12,400) bill with a picture of a grinning Yukichi, the clerk’s suspicion was aroused.