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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 194)

Knife Resistant Shirt Presented at Anti-Terrorist Convention

Knife Resistant Shirt Presented at Anti-Terrorist Convention

As a high ranking anti-terrorist agent in my fantasies off-time I’m often attacked by knife wielding maniacs.  This is why when I read Gigazine’s coverage of the recent Special Equipment Exhibition & Conference for Anti-Terrorism (SEECAT) 2012 in Tokyo I saw something that really piqued my interest.

On display at the Tanizawa Corp. booth was a sporty looking sweater that also prevents damage from knife slashes.  It could be the most comfy looking piece of armor I’ve seen.

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[Perfect for Halloween] Make Your Own Gaping Flesh Wound Without Wounding Yourself!

[Perfect for Halloween] Make Your Own Gaping Flesh Wound Without Wounding Yourself!

With Halloween just around the corner many people are looking around for those finishing touches on their costumes.  And what better accoutrement to your costume is there than an open sore or gaping wound?

However, store bought injuries can be cumbersome and might not look the way you want.  And while injuring yourself with a butcher’s knife is an economically sound idea it could seriously hamper your day to day activities.

So let us show you a safe way to make your own realistic wounds using ordinary household items! Just follow our multimedia guide on wounding yourself and get yourself some markers and glue.

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Pretty White Soba Flowers Making Fukui Locals Want to Vomit

For those of us living in cities, the idea of moving away to a country home surrounded by vast meadows of these pretty white autumn flowers sounds nice doesn’t it? However, this year, in Fukui Prefecture, where crops of thousands of these soba (buckwheat) flowers are grown, residents are perplexed that all these little blossoms literally smell like an ocean of sh*t.

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Japanese Juggler Elevates the Art, Superhuman Performance Caught on Tape

Most people think the art of juggling is played out.  We think we’ve seen it all from balls to batons to even the point that flaming chainsaws gets yawns from spectators.  But a performance at the 2012 Japan Juggling Festival by a mysterious juggler called Yanazo drew gasps and a standing ovation from the crowd.

Even only using a single ball he is captivating to watch.  If you can catch a ball with the outside of your elbow then congratulations: You can do about a half a second of this six minute act.

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Singapore to Fine Spammers $8,000 per E-mail Sent

 

Singapore, a country famous for its strict punishments for even minor crimes, again lived up to its reputation with a new law threatening a fine of 10,000 Singaporean Dollars (US$8,000) for every single unwanted e-mail sent for the purposes of solicitation otherwise known as spam.

What this will mean for the generic medicine and penis enhancement industries in Singapore remains to be seen.

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Like to Sleep on Public Transportation? Protect Ya Neck with the UpRight Sleeper

A while back we brought you some techniques on dealing with people who sleep on your shoulder during train, bus, or plane rides.  However, the problem wouldn’t exist if many of us weren’t train sleepers ourselves.  In Japan, you’re guaranteed to see at least one person sleeping if you ride the train after 6pm.

Even if a sleeper could avoid their fellow commuters they still run a high risk of hurting their own necks by sleeping upright.  Luckily an American company has come to everyone’s rescue with the UpRight Sleeper.  Now, if they can just convince people to wear the thing…

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Japanese Cabinet to Reward Nobel Prize Winner with New Washing Machine

It’s great that we have the Nobel Prize to give credit to the often unspoken heroes of the scientific community who continuously change our lives for the better. For example, Professors Sir John Gudon and Shinya Yamanaka’s work on stem cell research could potentially save countless lives and improve everyone else’s.

With that in mind, after a recent cabinet meeting Minister Makiko Tanaka unveiled their plan to present Prof. Yamanaka with – cue Price is Right music – a brand new washing machine!

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Japanese Man Takes Customized Street Legal Porsche 962C for Sunday Drive, Goes to the Convenience Store

The Porsche 962C was the premier car of the 80s, winning back-to-back 24 Hours of Le Mans in 86 and 87 along with a slew of other series during that decade.  It was an inspiration for one Japanese man, whose dream was to own one himself.

So he purchased one of the very few street legal Group C Porsche 962’s in existence. And he allowed us a peak at a simple afternoon drive behind the wheel of one of the greatest race cars ever.

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How to Organize Zen? Japanese Buddhists’ Adapt to Western Views of Their Religion

What do you think of when you hear the word Zen?  For most people, “organized religion” probably isn’t a phrase that pops up immediately.  This can be a bit of a predicament for Zen Buddhist missionaries working in places like Europe and North America.

The word, which comes from a Japanese translation of the Chinese word chán, literally means meditation, and has developed a romantic sense of being purely in the moment and devoid of all thought.  This concept has been focused on by various artists in Western culture like Jack Kerouac, with a diminished emphasis on the less sexy doctrines and worshiping of Buddha that are very much a part of the whole religion.

This image dichotomy is something that the Headquarters of Missionary Work for the Soto School of Buddhism in Europe has to deal with all the time.

Excite News Japan recently went to interview them on the state of modern Soto Zen Buddhism abroad. Check our rundown of their findings below!

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Can Men and Women Really Be Close Platonic Friends? Survey Says Your Girlfriend Might Not Think So

Ladies do you think you could possibly get along with a guy just as well as you do with your female friends?  Not in exactly the same way, but on the same level without it changing into something romantic.  And fellas, do you really think the “friend zone” exists with a woman or is that just her way of getting you off her back.

Japanese bridal information site Bridal Souken conducted a study last March asking 3096 single men and women between the ages of 20 and 50, “Is a friendship between a man and a woman real?” According to the results many more men and women think it is than isn’t, but the deeper we go we can see that gender is but a single piece of a bigger puzzle.

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You Can Only Listen to This Song Once In Your Life

To promote their new album Meeteen (ミーティン), quirky pop-rock ensemble Dainari><Konari (Greater Than >< Less Than) released a highly exclusive song online.  In fact, it’s so exclusive that once you listen to it it will remain locked forever.

Full of questions I embarked on this journey, worried that the song may be so catchy that I’d go crazy if unable to hear it again.

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Cockroaches Ending 2012 Season with a Bang, Stories of our Black Buddies Coming Fast and Furious

As the summer cools back down to a comfortable autumn, the cockroach index has slid to a 1 across much of Japan. But before they go to sleep in many parts of the world, it looks like our little black friends are squirming their way into the headlines to give us something to remember them by.

We’ve all probably heard the tale of Edward Archbold who mysteriously died after winning a cockroach eating contest in the USA.  However, in China, roaches making quite a stir – by getting stirred into the food.

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“Heavy Metal Idols” Perform for Audience of One Lucky Yahoo Auction Winner, Not a Dry Eye in the House

This photo might make you think that times are tough for the “heavy metal idols” in Alice Juban, oft referred to as the “sisters of rock.” Actually, it was an unprecedented promotion for the innovative idol group.

This September, major auction site Yahoo Auction opened a new category, Knowledge and Skills. Tucked away in there was a very special item up for bid: the girls of Alice Juban.

That didn’t sound right.  I didn’t mean the girls were selling themselves. They were selling the rights to an exclusive live performance for the winning bid in Shibaura, Tokyo on 10 October.

It turned out to be a really surreal event, and I don’t mean because of the usual hockey masks, chainsaws, and stage diving. It was a surprisingly touching performance that moved everyone in the room to tears.

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Cornman Continues to Patrol Tokyo’s Yamanote Line, but Why?

Recent reports of an unidentified passenger of the Yamanote subway line in Tokyo including this recent picture has every one asking: “Who is Cornman?” and more importantly, “What the hell is he doing?”

The first known photo (below) was tweeted back in May and showed a seemingly normal fellow towing what appeared to be a single unhusked ear of corn attached by a bright red dog leash heading towards the station exit.

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Thailand not Playing Around When It Comes to Cigarette Warning Labels

In many countries around the world governments and health organizations have been tightening the noose ever more around the already choking necks of average smokers.  By taxing the hell out of them and limiting smoking areas to under the floorboards of your house, smokers can scarcely relax with their favorite addiction.

Then we have the warning labels. Japanese cigarette packs have very minimal labels – for now – with some classy embossed printing.  Other countries such as Canada have been using graphic labels for quite some time.  They are rather unpleasant images of rotten teeth and people with tubes in their throat.

As bad as those images are they tend to lose their shock value quickly to the point that most smokers hardly notice them anymore.  Thailand, however, has taken the graphic label concept beyond unpleasant and into nightmare territory.

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Underequipped Family Climbs Mount Fuji to Promote Chinese Patriotism, Given Clothes by Japanese Person

A well-known Chinese writer with some controversial views on education got into dire straits in September after attempting to climb Mount Fuji with his children.  The purpose of the climb was a combination of a strict education regiment and as a way to promote Chinese patriotism.

Unaware that the climbing season ended at the end of August, they were turned back short of the summit, but not before being given extra clothing by a Japanese first aid officer.

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Find the Geek of Your Dreams at the 10th Otaku Marriage Hunting Masquerade Ball!

So you’re a middle aged person living in Japan with a mind to tie the knot but can’t seem to find that perfect match.  You went to a goukon and followed all the rules but still couldn’t land that potential spouse.

It could be because you’re a geek.  Now, that’s not as bad as it sounds. Statistics that I just pulled out of thin air suggest that up to 31% of us carry the otaku gene. Some of our best and brightest are nerds, such as Mark Zuckerberg, Weird Al Yankovic, and Wayne Gretzky.

However, for the otaku, marriage can be as hard to complete as that level in Battletoads where you have ride the hover bike. This is why the town of Washimiya has set up the Otaku Marriage Hunting Masquerade Ball.

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Ichiro Reveals Inner Ninja during Second Game of Divisional Series

Can you spot what’s wrong with this picture?

That’s right. This slide into home is going the wrong way.  Some were concerned that future hall of famer Ichiro Suzuki may have been past his prime when added to the Yankees this year, but he certainly pulled his weight scoring the first run in their second divisional playoff game against Baltimore.

Ichiro, after being waved home suddenly found himself cut off by an early throw to Baltimore catcher Matt Wieters.  Staring an inevitable 3rd out in the face, Ichiro wondered “What would Naruto Uzumaki do right now?”

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