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Mike

With nothing better to do in his native Ohio, Mike took a leave of absence from all responsibilities in life and came to Japan for the first time in 2006. After several years of what amounted to an extended vacation with occasional Japanese lessons, circumstances led Mike to finally settle down in Tokyo and get serious about life in 2009. He’s worked at magazines, a Japanese ad agency, and currently works in the entertainment industry. He also co-founded and writes for the humorous Japan news website Tokyodesu.com.

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Posted by Mike (Page 20)

Tea cups and biting breasts: Japanese phrases that sound like weird English

Tea cups and biting breasts: Japanese phrases that sound like weird English

The Japanese love to have fun with words. Kotoba asobi (wordplay) makes up a pretty large portion of Japanese humor on variety programs and comedy shows – possibly a side effect of so many kanji characters sounding phonetically identical despite wildly different meanings.

But YouTube’s The World Video Tour has taken it to a whole new level with a video series of Japanese words and phrases that sound a lot like totally unrelated English terms. Below, we’ll watch the series’ host have some fun with foreign tourists to see if they understand what he’s trying to say.

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Korean woman goes under the knife 120 times in pursuit of perfection

Korean woman goes under the knife 120 times in pursuit of perfection

We’ve already covered South Korea’s attitudes about plastic surgery; basically, that it’s considered at worst a necessary evil for some folks to get ahead in life.

That cultural attitude has led the country to be widely considered the world cosmetic surgery capital, and has even led a handful, like this obsessed woman, to spend years of their lives and hundreds of thousands of dollars artificially perfecting their appearance.

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Turkish cold snap literally freezes animals where they stand

It appears that Turkey is one of the few parts of the world that gets so cold it’s not an exaggeration to say, “It’s freezing out here.”

The video below depicts some donkeys found in a small village that have cartoonishly frozen in place due to the extreme cold weather and snow – a phenomena we thought only possible in Christmas-time claymation films, and the closest thing we know of to the exact opposite of China’s hellish summer heatwave that caused cars to explode.

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Rare Turkish rose is the most heavy metal flower you’ll ever see

Until now, we never really understood what all the fuss was about roses. Women seem to love them, and men seem to spend inordinate amounts of money to purchase them for their sweethearts. But now that we’ve seen the pitch-black Turkish Halfeti Rose, we’re starting to understand that roses can be not only dangerous, kind of smelly and enchanting all at the same time, they can also be the perfect centerpiece of the most hardcore heavy metal album or low fantasy book cover of all time.

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Hey guys, unlucky with women? There’s always Latvia!

If love is a numbers game, we’d say there’s no better place for men to play the odds than Latvia. In the formerly communist Baltic-region country, there are only 84 men for every 100 women, making the country the most gender-divided in the world – a fact that has a lot of single men here in Japan paying great attention.

As if that weren’t enough for men fed up with being “friend-zoned” by the women of their own countries to start researching ways to smuggle themselves into some Latvian tourist’s return luggage, Latvian ladies are apparently gaga over foreign men with college educations.

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Research institute explains technobabble with awesome retro anime 【Video】

Scientists must often have a hard time explaining deep scientific concepts to the general public without resorting to a lot of wild gesticulating and exasperated sighs. We know we’d get around five minutes into a college physics lecture before giving up and drawing cat doodles in our notebooks for the remaining hour of class.

It’s no wonder, then, that Japan’s RIKEN national comprehensive research institution resorted to making this totally awesome anime to enthrall and amaze our stupid civilian minds with flashing lights and hot robot girls, so we’d sit still long enough for the institute to introduce its new and totally sci-fi sounding SPring-8 Angstrom Compact Free Electron Laser (SACLA).

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Cute cat stands sacrifice themselves to hold up your smartphone

It’s about time cats did something for us. We’ve pampered them on the Internet and in convenience stores for years, and all they ever did in return was learn how to poop in the litter box.

Cats are finally giving back now with these cute but somewhat disturbing smartphone stands that depict various cat breeds heroically holding up your smartphone so it won’t topple over.

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Gundam creator has harsh words for manga and anime hit “Attack on Titan”

Say what you will about Gundam creator Yoshiyuki Tomino, he’s nothing if not outspoken. Previously, we covered Tomino’s somewhat incendiary remarks about kids addicted to video games, and he’s well known in Japan for being less than enthusiastic about rival mecha manga and anime.

Now he’s crossed genres to take aim at Japan’s most recent pop culture export, Attack on Titan – which we suppose defies genres as an alternate universe story about weird giant people attacking towns.

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This street looks exactly like Totoro, if you have horrible eyesight and squint really hard

Tsutsuki, near Yokohama, is making waves in the Japanese media for its unassuming highway that, when viewed from the right angle at night, forms the vague silhouette of Hayao Miyazaki’s beloved character, Totoro.

The lighting on the street in question was apparently deliberately planned by the city so that it would look like “an animal with ears”, but even planners hadn’t intended it to look like studio Ghibli’s famous cat-like mascot.

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Dancing bear cubs straight out of Disney movie capture Japanese hearts

The Japanese Internet is going crazy over recent Finnish photos of a group of bear cubs who appear to be dancing around in a circle, reminiscent of the age-old nursery rhyme “Ring Around the Rosie”.

Valtteri Mulkahainen, a 52-year-old Finnish photography hobbyist, says he thought he was imagining the bears dancing around, even going so far as to say the scene was so magical he wouldn’t have been surprised if they had begun singing. Given the man’s situation as he took the now-madly circulating photos, we can’t blame him for momentarily believing he was living inside of a Disney movie.

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Inmate of Tohoku prison within nuclear evacuation zone sues TEPCO for emotional distress

 

It’s been three years since the March 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster swallowed up whole cities and caused one of the worst nuclear power disasters in history. For much of the world the devastating event is a distant memory – except for people in California who, for some reason, to this day think swimming in the ocean is going to give them three eyes or four boobs or something.

But for many living near the crippled Dai-Ichi Nuclear Power Plant, like the inmates at a Kagoshima City prison located within the nuclear evacuation zone, the Tohoku earthquake and the persistent effects of the subsequent nuclear disaster altered their lives forever; so says a former inmate who is formally suing TEPCO for emotional distress.

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Real-life Winnie the Pooh caught stealing honey, on run from the law

When wildlife researchers in Kochi Prefecture set up an unmanned camera in a local forest to find the cheeky wilderness creature stealing honey from an animal trap they’d set up, they probably expected to find a clever squirrel or some other creature too small or quick to set off the trap door.

Instead, what they found in video footage was what can only be described as real-life Winnie the Pooh turned to petty crime to fund his hopeless honey addiction.

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Years of labor and millions of dollars finally yield amazing french fry vending machine

For many of the world’s greatest cuisines, there is a fine line separating a stellar example of a particular dish from a loathsome, gag-inducing failure. In the case of the humble french fry, that fine line is a few extra minutes from fryer to your eager food hole; let the fries sit for just a little too long and they transform before your eyes from hot, crunchy guilty pleasure to disgusting, squishy, limp waste of calories.

Apparently deeply affected by a soggy fry incident, the folks at China’s Beyondte Electronics Co., Ltd. set out to perfect a french fry vending machine that would produce hot, crunchy fries on the spot whenever you got a craving, eliminating the need to order them at your favorite fast food joint and carry them home and – a happy side effect – also eliminating the need to actually speak to another human being to get your fry fix.

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Honda’s UNI-CUB is our laziest dream come true

The good people at Honda, seemingly having read our minds, introduced at the 2013 Tokyo Motor Show this beautiful luxury chair-vehicle hybrid that we never knew we’d always been waiting for.

Gone are the days of actually having to get out of your seat to retrieve the remote, or that last broken chip from the Pringles can that somehow found its way into the seat cushion of that chair you never use. In fact, with the new UNI-CUB the only reason you’ll ever need to get out of your seat again is to give a standing ovation to Honda’s brilliant – and probably equally lazy – engineers.

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Finally, your dog can safely leap through flaming hoops with this adorable doggy fire gear

Every dog owner has experienced it: you want your dog to sit, speak, roll over and maybe shake, but your pooch has other ambitions. Bigger dreams. He wants to join the fire brigade (you know this because you taught him to speak), but you’re worried about your little buddy’s safety.

Finally, though, you can let your doggy chase both his tail and his dreams with this adorable doggy flame-retardant suit. Join us after the jump for more adorable photos!

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Japanese comedian “Hard Gay” continues to make waves as a professional model

If the Japanese media hadn’t bothered to point it out, we never would have even realized the newest model for American fashion boot (that’s a thing?) manufacturer Luan is none other than comedian and former tasteless gay stereotype “Hard Gay”.

We’re still looking at the promotional photos and rubbing our eyes in disbelief. It turns out that, when he made the surprise announcement in June this year that he had decided to go into modelling, the former entertainer wasn’t kidding around.

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Häagen-Dazs Japan turns 30, celebrates with commemorative rose and sakura ice cream

The bizarre story of how Häagen-Dazs being a totally made up name that most of the world seems to think is actually of Dutch origin somehow aside, Häagen-Dazs ice cream – which is actually manufactured by a US company – is renowned throughout much of the world for being high quality and super delicious.

It’s no surprise, then, that Häagen-Dazs Japan has enjoyed strong ice cream sales and a stellar reputation for 30 years now, and to celebrate its 30th anniversary, the company is going to kick back, relax, and gobble down two pints of brand new rose and sakura cherry blossom flavors of ice cream made to commemorate the chain’s three decades in Japan.

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Reading books makes you aware we live in the Matrix, artist depicts

We were all pretty sure we live in the Matrix anyway. Doesn’t that explain deja vu and rainbows or whatever?

Now we have definitive artistic proof that the Matrix is real, and only those that read tons of books ever get it. As this artist rendition shows, reading books makes you more knowledgeable about the world around you in the form of a giant book ladder that lets you climb up and see the real world outside of our digitized quasi-reality.

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Japanese Q&A site answerer makes starting a cult seem like legitimately good business sense

Back in the day, starting a cult was just as good a way to make a dishonest living as robbing banks or selling kidneys on the black market, but with the rise of the Internet (specifically, Snopes.com), attracting believers to your bogus religion seems like way too much work. Besides, Scientology kind of already has the market cornered.

Nevertheless, an inquisitive aspiring cultist took to Yahoo! Japan’s Chiebukuro question and answer site as part of his/her cult-founding due diligence, perhaps hoping for some basic advice like “keep human sacrifices to a minimum,” or “promise male cult members multiple wives.”

Instead, what the asker got was a detailed breakdown of what it takes to build a successful cult; an explanation so thorough and well-thought out, we’re actually considering a career change.

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Nerd crime: N00b online gamer stabbed in real life by L337 Hackz0r

In a slightly convoluted tale of intrigue and betrayal, a Saitama man was arrested for stabbing his online gaming buddy after the two got into an argument about a lack of gaming skills.

The two apparently met at a game arcade over a decade before the incident and had been keeping in touch, dabbling in multiplayer matches of a Gundam-themed online game together. After one apparently teased the other about his lack of skills, the two decided to settle the debate in person.

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