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What men and women are REALLY saying, according to Japanese Twitter users

Men and women. Even when we’re all speaking the same language, it seems like we’re saying completely different things. If you’ve ever grumbled to a friend about not understanding what women and/or men really want, then you will definitely be able to sympathize with this one. Here are 10 tweets from Japanese Twitter users explaining what they think the differences between what women and men mean…even when they’re saying the exact same things! After reading this, you’ll probably have a better idea of why it often seems like the sexes just can’t understand each other. You’ll also probably be no closer to figuring out what they’re telling you…

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The honesty of children: 3-year-old’s greeting tells father how little time he spends at home

The honesty of children: 3-year-old’s greeting tells father how little time he spends at home

As we’ve talked about before, overtime is pretty common in Japan. At a startling number of companies, it is not considered in the least bit unusual to find staff, who are contracted and only being paid to be there between 8:30 am and 6 pm, still at their desks until 9, 10, or 11 at night. Others may leave the office a little earlier, but are often wrangled into drinking with the boss or entertaining clients until all hours. Others still even work on weekends and, returning home late at night, only see their family while they’re sleeping.

Dutiful partners may grin and bear it when their husband or wife is absent from home for such enormous stretches of time, but kids only speak the truth. Like this little one who, on her father returning home seemingly for the first time in a long time, greeted him like you might a guest or customer to a restaurant…

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“Dude, where’s my cat?” Check in the rice cooker!

Cats are always sticking their noses…and heads and butts and, well, their whole bodies where they just don’t belong. Working on an important business report? Cat on the keyboard! Trying to cook? Cat face in your mixing bowl! Strange noises in your closet freaking you out at night? Cat doing…something in there. We still have no idea what.

While we all love a cute kitty, it’s impossible to avoid the fact that they simply have an innate desire to get in the way or into just about everything. One Japanese Twitter user learned this the funny way when his cat just…disappeared!

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“Hungover today, sorry!” Laidback Tsukuba cafe gives hilarious reasons for frequent closings

Tsukuba is a small, planned city nestled in the mountains of Ibaraki, which has a reputation for being a pretty chilled out place to live. The small population size and abundance of surrounding nature give the city a slow-paced, laid back feeling compared to the bustle of major cities like Tokyo, Yokohama and Osaka.

We hear there are also a lot of great places to eat in Tsukuba, provided your restaurant or cafe of choice isn’t closed for the day because they couldn’t decide on the day’s menu items or the manager has a hangover. 

Or at least, that may be the case if you choose to drop in on the popular privately owned cafe, Ajiyoshi. The staff over there seem to take their easygoing lifestyle to the next level, frequently closing up shop on a whim; but never without “good” reason.

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NHK TV worker woken by earthquake, gives viewers a show by accident

As you already know, the third anniversary of the 3/11 Tohoku disaster was remembered this week through a variety of activities, including a fundraiser by Yahoo! Japan which saw the company donating roughly $250,000 to charity. The anniversary was also marked by a powerful earthquake off the coast of Kyushu at around 2 am on March 12, injuring about 14 people and wrecking havoc on innocent anime figures.

It also brought grins to all of the NHK viewers and Twitter users who happened to catch the public broadcaster’s footage of a confused-looking man running around an office in his underwear!

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M6.3 earthquake hits Japan, anime fans rush to tweet photos of damage to figure collections

Japan was hit by a magnitude 6.3 earthquake in the early hours of Friday morning which injured 14 people and caused a brief power outage in some areas. The quake, which struck off the coast of the southern island of Kyushu at 2:07am local time, caused only minor damage, but the third anniversary of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake this week served as an important reminder of the devastation that can be caused by major earthquakes and tsunami.

Japan is one of the most seismically active countries in the world, and as such its people tend to be extremely well-versed in what to do in the event of a natural disaster. Take cover, turn off the gas, open the door to secure an escape route. These collectors of anime figures, however, had a different idea about what to do in the moments after this morning’s quake – check up on their action figures, and immediately catalogue the damage on Twitter.

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Liven up your Twitter feed with anime-themed “Pair Icons”

We already know that Twitter and Vine are kind of places people in Japan go to make bad life decisions. We’ve seen teens crawl into convenience store freezers and would-be comedians posting really quite racist “comedy” videos, and even the occasional teen openly admitting to a crime on the social networking service.

So it’s a breath of fresh air to see someone finally take to Twitter with a good idea, like this amateur artist that posted a concept sketch for “pair icons:” Twitter profile pictures you can use with friends that, when lined up perfectly in your news feed, play off each other in fun and interesting ways. Here’s the original concept:

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Japanese 7-Eleven asking public’s help in stopping feline crime

To help combat the steady wave of shoplifting in Japan (360 reported cases a day), authorities remind shop staff to stay vigilant and know that anyone who enters their store – whether a little school girl or her 89-year-old grandfather – is a potential criminal just aching to take your hard-earned merchandise.

Just look at the kitty pictured above. Cute lil’ guy doncha think?

Wrong! That pilfering feline has stolen hundreds of yen worth of cat food from a helpless major convenience store… possibly to sell on the street for crack-cocaine.

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Homegrown mushrooms or demonic monstrosities? Maybe both!

Mushrooms are quite popular in Japan, where they have both bizarrely sexual commercials and giant bizarrely (not-quite) sexual plushies. You are also sure to find plump, white fungi in many dishes, and mushroom hunting is enjoyed by many of the country’s citizens every year

For the average person, though, mushrooms come from the store–not a mountain side. But if you’re feeling a tiny bit adventurous, you could always try growing the ‘shrooms in your kitchen, using a cheap “mushroom cultivation kit.” Just be careful not to fertilize your little fungi with the souls of the damned, as these Twitter users apparently did!

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Meanwhile, in Hokkaido…

There has been a lot of news over the record snowfalls in many parts of Japan. However, from people all along the Northwestern coast and in Hokkaido a collective “What about us?” could be heard.

As a reminder, one Hokkaido resident tweeted out this photo of their local Lawson. We’re sure of that because the sign is the only visible part on the store. It looks as if it worked too as the photo is currently doing the rounds on the internet and getting retweeted over 16,000 times.

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Thinking of ordering a pizza on a snow day? “Screw you!” tweets Japanese delivery driver

With record snowfall this weekend, not many people were keen to get out of their houses to do anything but buy emergency supplies and make snowmen. Of course, that doesn’t mean there’s no money to be made–after all, crappy weather is the perfect time to order a pizza, isn’t it? Really, is there anything better than curling up under the kotatsu with a giant steamy pizza, some hot chocolate, and a few DVDs from Tsutaya?

Well, unless you’re the delivery driver, I suppose. Then you might have a very different take on the matter, as one Japanese Twitter user pointed out.

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Tokyoite creates epic snow monster following record snow dump, gets phonecalls from neighbours

As you probably know, Tokyo had some of its heaviest snow in decades this past weekend, with an estimated 24 cm (9.4 inches) of powder on the ground by Saturday afternoon. While for some this spelled disaster, others were happy to get creative and build some epic snowmen, snow mannequins, and even puyo-puyo in the fluffy white stuff.

For one creative Twitter user, however, that same sculpting clay from the sky allowed him to recreate his nightmares in physical form. And it’s not pretty.

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Twin Tail Day makes Twitter a paradise for guys in Japan【Photos】

You may not have known, but February 2 was Twin Tail Day in Japan. Silly as it may sound, this day commemorating the pigtail hairstyle is in fact an official day recognized by the Japan Anniversary Association. The date, 2/2, was chosen because the shape presented by hair done up in a twin tail style resembles the number “2”. There are few traditions associated with this strange holiday, but the most common is to post pictures of yourself wearing your hair in pigtails on Twitter. Let’s take a look at just a few of the top trending pictures of girls celebrating Twin Tail Day. You’re welcome.

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Twitter, Facebook, Line: The people of Japan vote on their favourite social networking services

Like them or loathe them, social networking services, or SNS for short, have become an integral part of our daily lives and society as a whole. While Facebook, Twitter and Naver Corporation’s Line offer very different experiences, most users will agree that without them, they’d feel lost, or at least have a sudden and unexpected amount of free time on their hands.

Recently, a survey was conducted in Japan which asked respondents about the services they used, asking them which they turned to most often, which they were most careful about using and sharing information on, and which they’d hate to be without. Join us for a peek at the results after the jump.

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Japanese Twitter user stumbles across legendary deep-sea fish, cooks and eats it four different ways

Every once in a while the Japanese media picks up on the story of an extremely long deep sea fish that washes up on its shores. Called an “oarfish,” it is long believed to be a harbinger of earthquakes.

But for one Twitter user it was a harbinger of an impressive four course meal. While out before sunrise, he stumbled along one of these allegedly supernatural fish washed up on shore. After contacting several marine institutes and finding none to claim the large fish, he tossed superstitions aside and acted on the belief that when life hands you an oarfish, you make oarfish fillets.

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School kids in Japan learn about bugs, terrifying miniature horse-beasts and baby Ohmus

Back when I was a kid growing up in Liverpool, we studied only the subjects that were essential for daily life: namely Numbers, Words, Throwing, and of course a selection of moves from the 1983 romantic drama Flashdance. There was no time for art or creativity, and we were only ever allowed outdoors to collect firewood or when the time came to offer up a sacrifice to The Beast.

So it’s great to see that school kids in Japan are given a chance to learn the things that really matter, like identifying a Japanese rhinoceros beetle from a lineup of frightening, hopefully imaginary, creatures.

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Masahiro Tanaka’s tweet leads to mass confusion but reveals his taste in idols

Perusing Japanese Twitter feeds, you’re likely to come across the word “nau” at the end of a sentence. This word has the same meaning as the phonetically similar “now” in English. It’s used to simply state what the tweeter is doing at that given moment. Examples include “Unko Nau” (pooping now) or “Jishin Jiko Nau” (physical injury now).

Even Nippon Professional Baseball star Masahiro Tanaka, fresh off his perfect season got in on the action and tweeted out what he was doing nau. However, when you’re a pro-pitcher rumored to be imminently signed to a Major League Baseball team, an innocent little tweet can create unusually big ripples.

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Super cool photo of someone using Twitter… on a Nintendo Game Boy?!

If you’re a 90s kid, chances are you spent hours of your life glued to the monochrome screen of Nintendo’s original 8-bit Game Boy handheld console (feel the nostalgia?). In those days, we were content guiding a tiny Mario around and striving to collect all 50 Pokémon. But little did we know the unforseen capabilities of the Game Boy. Last week, Twitter user Kinako uploaded a picture of herself using Twitter on a Game Boy screen. What sorcery is this??

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If you give a mouse a cookie… you might get some chocolate in return

Twitter user @sazaki0 recently got an unpleasant surprise when she discovered a mouse had taken up residence in her house, but this particular mouse had far better manners than your average rodent, offering a gift of chocolate to the lady of the house. Her full story after the jump.

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My Melody lucky bag turns out to be slightly unlucky

Buying a fukubukuro (lucky bag) is one of the most anticipated thrills during New Year’s in Japan. Although what’s in the bag is a mystery until you’ve paid for it, the goods in the bag are usually worth more than the price you pay for the fukubukuro, so most of the time it is indeed a “lucky” buy.

Depending on your luck, you might not get something you desperately want or need in the bag, but even that wouldn’t dampen your day as much as what this Japanese Twitter user found in her slightly “unlucky” My Melody fukubukuro.

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